I do empathize -- my wife reacted much the same way. The sense of entitlement in these things often runs very deep, esp. among "princesses."
I do NOT condone her affair -- don't misunderstand -- but I do believe that we generally "teach" people how to treat us, over time. THAT part of this, is your (and it was my) fault as much as it is your wife's.
Time to teach her differently, by treating yourself better, and expecting the same from her.
