Ask for the divorce papers, I think I mentioned that.
Start dating and enjoy it.
Yes she's lying, when you confronted her and she denied it, it's a lie and then she later comes back and tells you it was just a reply, so why did she lie in the first place? Look if she was really serious about you, she would cut all contact with the other guy but she isn't so get those divorce papers and stop talking to her, your marriage isn't important to her and she's calling your bluff.
I would like to hear what you have to say about this, my personal opinion is to call atty, leave& go dark. I guess I did allow a crack in the door and she slipped thru it. I guess i did.
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
What was the boundary? Did you tell your W that if she had contact with OM you would call atty and leave? If so, then you have your answer about what to do next. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
You don't have to leave. Give her the "I have decided" speech: I have decided that I will not leave. You may use the next three weeks to find a place and get organized."
You have to stand up to this, OB. You just do. I know you know that - but I also know that it will be difficult with children watching y'all , 20 years of history and you do love her, after all. But this is a loving gesture, truly it is. It is loving to yourself - you won't let yourself be treated like this. And it is loving to her (altho she will not see it as such NOW) - you won't let her behave this way unchecked. We spank our little ones for the same reason, right. And what do we say - this is going to hurt you more than it hurts me.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I have had a couple of "invites" even as recently as this weekend - i just can't even really socialize with OW knowing they are looking for a date or more. I mean I'm married and married people shouldn't do those things.
I see the advice but, I'll most likely focus on me and my kids, immediate family and stuff until at minimum the filing.
She has been accusatory for years, I believe it was from her first serious relationship when her BF would run around on her all the time. She was insecure at times and i didn't help the situation. But it doesn't give her the right to do what she is doing now.
So I know right now I don't want to here " See I was right about you all along"
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
lets see here, she lies to you, continues her relationship with her boyfriend, threatens you with divorce if you stand up for yourself and you are concerned with how she views you in light of her personal insecurities? interesting.
From someone who has been on both sides of the fence, whatever you do is WRONG, HURTFUL, and CONTROLLING no matter what you, your mamma or anybody on this board thinks or has to say.
You can't win.
Rather than her being right about you all along, you will be forever known as the one who broke up the family no matter what she did. It is not until she knows for herself how it feels that she will understand. Who knows maybe someday down the road when the OM gets tired of her it will all work out.
You don't have to leave. Give her the "I have decided" speech: I have decided that I will not leave. You may use the next three weeks to find a place and get organized."
You have to stand up to this, OB. You just do. I know you know that - but I also know that it will be difficult with children watching y'all , 20 years of history and you do love her, after all. But this is a loving gesture, truly it is. It is loving to yourself - you won't let yourself be treated like this. And it is loving to her (altho she will not see it as such NOW) - you won't let her behave this way unchecked. We spank our little ones for the same reason, right. And what do we say - this is going to hurt you more than it hurts me.
