I can take it no more soldiers wife need help

[Jstar]

adultery in the military is a punishable crime under UCMJ uniform code of military justice.

[Jstar]

i'm wheeling in my phone call i just got from my h, threatneing me to show up announced. now he's trying to threaten me to call him back and am i going to respond doubtful, if i do i don't think it will be pretty, it won't be to any dbing way i know that so it would go against my goals, but....

[armywifevampi]

she called unknone caller on my phone but i called my phone company and there investigating to see where it was made from cuz i have a tracker on my phone ... they called me 3days ago and told me its under investigations still ....
i dont know if he is or was it might be just someone he was talking to ....

if i can say he has very lowe self estime and i cant say he wont but he might do something like that and not becouse of him but he always thought he was small if u know what i mean...

not sure but i think he was just someone he was talking to and tring to get to know... u see when hes with u hes a very good listener and talker boy he can win u by talking but hes a mind player thats the word ....

its not hes looks he wins u with his mine control there....


i think to that he might be scared cuz i called the sgt. and he knows i can call someone higher and i didnt ... and hes tring to make a mends i dont think hes tring to work things out ..

not yet at lease ... hes doing the mine control again so he can be all hey how are u i need space and i told u ... and so on so i can be here just waiting for his call....

but hill be suprise when i dont ... if thats what hes doing

[bluerain]

Yup, dont let him suck you in. Im glad that you followed up on figuring out what was behind this lady.

I hope that he is scared. He should be. He has made some poor choices, and now nasty reality is breaking in on his little fantasy.

IF he does start talking about how he wants to try again, you need to be very, very strong and not take the bait. You need to set boundaries, not because you dont want your marriage to get better, exactly the opposite of that in fact, you are doing those things to make sure that when your marriage does start to be rebuilt, it is on a strong foundation so that this doesnt happen again.

So, hopefully you have him shaking in his boots because you told on him about him ignoring his responsibilities. Have a glass of wine, and take a hot bath- this is a small victory for you!

[armywifevampi]

do u think he might... to start u have to start again as friends ... with out the i miss u and i love u parts may be when he told me those this was cuz he want to start freash from the start or thats not the apoch i should be looking for...

if he starts to do that fussing about what i did what should i say or do at that point..

should i cut him off or should i tell him that i did it for u him to understand or just let him talk and say are u done ... can i speak and speak my mine or ...

just play it off like well i did what i had to for me not for u ... for my security and our doughters ...

dont know what to say ...

i dont drink much but thats sounds like a plan what time is it where u at...

[armywifevampi]

but u see how i was doing tring to figuer the girls call out ... i tried that with him and he told me to stop tring to finer him out that i wont and he wont tell me ... this was about his feelings...

[bluerain]

Its 9:55. Im too tall for my bathtub

Its hard telling whats going to happen in these situations, but I think that its super important for you to have a plan of what to say IF you get the chance.

I think that if you do get into a discussion about why you went to the SGT, I would be honest, you did it to plan for the security of the family. He may be mad, but YOU are not the one who did the bad thing here. Its like getting mad at the cop for giving you a speeding ticket. Hes not mad because you told on him, hes mad because he got caught.

[bluerain]

Oh, I dont think that he would have been honest with you about that anyway. If he was cheating, he would lie about it because cheaters always lie!

[Jstar]

it sounds as if you may need to detach from situation directly with h. you are worried about what he's going to say and do. he will see that as weakness. you do not have to explain anything you do nor do you have to answer his questions. is he doing that for you.

i think i follow db rules somewhat but more of a tough db rules.

his recruiter is not in his chain of command and will only act as a go between, he is not going to give you or direct you to the help you need, maybe he will, i could be wrong, but that's not the recruiters job and if it is his friend he may have more of a bond or alligance to your h then you expect.

friends are a good place to start, though i always took that as an insult, maybe its code for sometihng else, just a little joke.

i don't think you can go on what he has said in the past, things may have changed and you have to go with what the situation is at this point.

if you want to answer why you have not been responding, just say, i've been doing a lot of thinking and making decisions. if he asks further, just say i'm not yet willing to discus them with you at this point and cut the convo.

[armywifevampi]

how about if he tells me that we need to talk but in person ... what then....