I am on facebook but have one friend that's my niece and have not posted any pics or anything like that. I have students of mine that are on there so I'm super careful.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
I did spend all today and tonight checking my phone for text messages. i think in a way i'm looking for a way if it's right to me to break the silence.
i do think he is shocked or surprised that i have not come by, called, texted, dropped his crap off at his mothers. maybe he has just given up, i know don't do the what if's no thinking of his actions motives, or anything, very hard to control.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
Ugh, I know that feeling. For a while, every time a car would drive by I would run to the window looking to see it it was H. I hate that I ever allowed myself to become that that way.
Im sure that hes noticed your silence, maybe hes just trying to out-stubborn you!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
oh yeah like battle of the wills. thing is he does not ask to see d2 but once, so i would say if it were a game of win/lose, he is certainly loosing.
he may just figure ah well when she's ready she'll talk to me, his texts and phone msgs are a test to see how strong i am if i'm serious.
hard because it's like i would love to be able to just talk to him, tell him in 56 days child will be arriving give or take a few days, have him set up his room, all that stuff a father would jump at doing. but he couldn't even pick up our daughter here so she could sleep longer.
i do scan my work parking lot, like he's lurking around, going to follow me or have one of his homies follow me.
when we were seperated before he send his sil to give me money another dude to bring diapers then he just popped up with i miss my family.
i think my niece is suprised as well that i have not contacted him, last sunday she was asking, you still bringing d2 for me to watch and take to my work. i was nothing has changed and i don't think it will for a long time.
he used to know how strong i was, but with all the deaths in my family made me very dependent upon him since my support system was obliterated in a matter of 3 years.
he may even go the holidays with not asking to see daughter or bring her gifts, another thing in the back of my mind, how to handle that.
d2 has not seen him since nov 24 or so.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
our M has not been this bad for about 2 years. i chased him for months, tried everything and he kept pulling further away. it was not until i went dark for 3 weeks did he come around, also during that time he tried to get into a relationship and said it just felt wrong.
i don't know if being dark is going to have any impact on him, waking up or i say stop wandering the desert.
he has never been been open about his feelings or wants and always would do what he wanted when he wanted with no care concern for how it made me feel.
i really have no clue what works with him. he would say set me free and if i come back to you....something like that. or stop texting .
oh great he is calling rate now.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
and yet another msg, and i knew if i listened to it, it would upset me, i have not been upset since his last msg and now i am.
saying i don't know what's up with you, what your problem is. jstar need to grow up and be mature, atleast when u would over text me it may have taken me a day or two to respond but alteast i did. i don't want to show up unnnounced to find out what's going but if you do not call me back i am going to show up unnounced, i know you and i don't get along and i'm being a piece of [censored], and can't talk straight to one another. i want to take d2 for the day and bring her back to you, this is about her, but if you don't call me and tell me what's going i am going to show up announced.
GREAT!
you don't set up visitation with me you don't get visitation, you don't provide me with money you have been earning you don't see daughter, you don't tell me your work schedule you don't see d2, you don't protect d2 from your mother you don't see, you don't purchase a new car seat, you don't see her, you don't get to see her free willing after nto seeing her for 2-3 weeks and expect to take her for the day, you want to see d2 then you go by what i say, supervised visits until you prove you can be trusted, straight up loser you have lost that trust.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
I know that its not traditional DBing... but, what do you think of laying it all out, just like that. Maybe without the Loser part Maybe ending it with "Im turning my phone off, I cant talk to you right now"
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Maybe ending it with "Im turning my phone off, I cant talk to you right now"