Its a big risk I'm running, but if the payoff comes through its worth it. If not, then I'm free from limbo with a fresh start for a new life. I'm hoping option 1 pans out.
Sure, you are out of limbo, but what if you played it all wrong? That's easy to do if your basic assumptions are in error.
The following lyrics struck a chord with me:
Dont hold back... If you think about it too much, you may stumble, trip up, fall on your face... Don't hold back... You think its time you get up, crunch time, like a sit up, come on keep pace... Don't hold back... Put apprehension on the back burner, let it sit, dont even get it lit... Don't hold back...
You do hold back Gnosis. You hold back on sharing the truth of your feelings with her. That's a terrible thing to do to someone you claim to love. It is deadly to a relatiohship.
Last night she decided to continue playing the game.
So did you.
Evening task: Be away from nine until at least midnight. Send the message I'm building a social life. Got dressed in black trousers and casual dress shirt and went to see a Christmas carols show.
Purpose:
b) Send message that I can get around just fine.
You haven't shared enough of your situation with her for me to get a sense of it, so I will ask anyway. Are you sure that she needs to get the message that you can get around just fine or have you been giving her that message in spades for years? Your retreat, although you do it to get clear and centered, can easily send the message that she simply doesn't matter to you.
I really don't know the answers. Just asking the questions. You're a good guy G and you have helped me and many others. Just trying to help point out any potential blind spots you may have
