I can take it no more soldiers wife need help

[armywifevampi]

I just want someone to help me understand how it is over there...
he dont tell me about it and maybe i would understand why hes acting this way... i know there is alot of jucises.... there

and i think its one of the resones why ... hes 35 but he looks like 20 ... i think to hes trying to relive his younger years..


i wish i can do that to but im grown and i have
responsibilities to him and our baby girl and family..

[armywifevampi]

yes and he also got his vc to thats why i dont know why hes acting this way.. weve pland this 1month ago and i had it already

its not cheap to go over there .. he just spend our savings that i had to enjoy it with him .. when i get there so i had to get a another job to put the money back in...

dont know im in libbo... right know weather to go with his ok or not and see for my self .. but i dont want to be there alone

[Jstar]

the trip to korea is a tough one to answer, i'm new in this dbing, i hope someone will chime in with some advice.

lets say you go and he's there spending time with you, or staying with you great. but lets say you go and he's distant or pulling away, are you ready to enjoy the sights of what you can see in korea with out him being with you.

[bluerain]

Hi AW. I think that you should still be talking to MIL, if you have been talking to her all along. But you do need to stop talking to her about this. Its obvious that shes not comfortable with it, and continuing to try to get her to talk about it might push her away. If she asks how its going, be vague, tell her about the ball game that you went to, or your school plans. But stay away from things involving your H.

A few years ago, my sister had an affair. She got married just after she turned 18, and had their first baby on their 1 year wedding anniversary. She never has had her own bank acct, own apartment, she has had none of the sort of rights of passage that people go through as they grow up. And I think that it had a lot to do with her A. She literally had a crisis, not quite a mid life crisis, but she was suddenly unsure of everything. She behaved shamefully, but their marriage recovered and now 10 yrs and two kids later, they are fine. But, I really think that missing out on those things that you are supposed to do earlier in life can come back and haunt people.

The only good thing about these, is that they are temporary. Hopefully, he sees what hes giving up before its too late.

Now, what are you going to school for? Thats really exciting, and if you are open to it, you can have a chance to make some really good friends. Some of my closest friends are people that I have gotten to know through school.

[bluerain]

I dont think that you should be planning on going. You have the ticket, and if things change, you can still go. But right now, I think that the trip will be a disaster. How will you feel if you travel all the way there and hes not happy to see you?

Dont ever give him a chance to reject you.

[armywifevampi]

well its my what 7TH day i havent heard from him and i think i wont hes changed everything on me all the passwords and stuff... he hasent called his doughter... so i guess its over

oooo well what can i say i might move back but not sure cuz i will be out in the streets with my pay so dont know will see what happends well nothing went right today...

my head is not on straight but i guess keep moving on ive lost almost 70pounds i look good but not happy i guess

my mine cant think no more i wonder if im not going to get hes paycheck no more then he will realy put us in the street

i might start to sell are new stuff we got with his bonus cuz ill have some money to move with if i have to so far it hasent happen...

but i guess i have to start thinking and what else well my hart is still lonly and empty know i still love him ... but i guess its getting easer i still cry every night when the lights turn off or when i shower ...

hoping for something i know its lost and trust me if its been this long... hes lost and i know hes not coming back so im tring to stick it in my head day by day ...

and hope we can get better me and my baby girl that he hasent even bother to call and say nothing to ...

[bluerain]

why are you working so much? Doesnt he get enough BAH to pay the bills? He gets those entitlements and COLA to support his dependants, and if hes not doing that then you can get his paychecks garnished to do that.

[bluerain]

Lots of us have been in a place much like where you are before. We all know how hard this is. When is your counselling session? Very often, when he thinks that you really dont need him anymore, THAT will turn his head. And you need to legitimately get to that place. You need to calm down, detach from him, and STOP being so worried about him not calling. Stop tracking how many days its been since he hasnt
called or texted. Stop focusing on him.

You need to figure out how you are going to be ok. You said that you were starting school, what are you going to study? How was the ball game?

Geeze, I think that Im just repeating myself in these posts to you!

[Jstar]

Listen, now you need to contact his chain of command. If bills are not being paid while he is deployed, he has NO reason for pay in Korea, meals are furnished, he is staying in barracks, so all his money is n essence required to go to his dependents.

Make a stand for yourself and children, get the military involved, they will NOT put up with a soldier not being responsible financially for his dependents, even if they are estranged.

[armywifevampi]

yeah but if he if he stops he paycheck to come to are bank and puts it in another then i wont get none cuz its all together in the same account and the pay that they would give me wont be enough to pay our bills so i have to think ahead in case..

he dose something stupit like that just to be on the safe side ive been putting money away but look hes back from the field and he took money out he dont get payed till tomorrow and i over draft ...

he use to text me or call me telling me hes taking money out but not no more... so i had to take money from the savings till tomorrow so they wont charge me late fee..

why dose it take so long for them to call me to speak to a therapis from the army i already gave them my info they said they would call to set a appointment but nothing its been 2days

well remember when i told u i went to hosp. well im ok but ive been dealing with other things to and ive not told him cuz remember everything i tell him i make up so i never did..

and its hard to deal with the news and i left everything in place just in case for my baby girl to be ok ...

i have to do surgary in feb. in one of my overies they found something thats not good ive known for a while but i was tring to take it out of my mined and i think thats another reson why im angry .... and so negative i guess dealing with to much at once...