We have followed similar paths. I too have come to a point where I am having a hard time ever seeing our M work out and/or having a happy future together.
I have talked to others that have been to this point and have made it to successful, happy M once again though.
Accept. Don't have expectations. But don't forget...anything's possible.
EB,
That's pretty much where I am. No expectations. If I have any expectation, it's that we will be D'd. But, I remain open to the alternative possibility, but that decision is not mine to make.
Well, W and kids are back home from their trip. She sent me an IM to let me know they were back. I responded "Great."
She has been with her parents since Friday. Part of me wonders what waits for me when I get home. Not fearful, just curious. I don't think she is talking to her parents much, if any, about our sitch, b/c to my W, it is a completely private matter. While I agree to an extent with her, I do believe it is wise to seek out counsel from others who have been through this and who I trust.
I am going to try to be more conversant with her. It will be work, as I don't want to talk to her very much right now. Not bitterness or anger. Just no desire. Anyone have any tips on that?
I am! I pray for everyone on here. And just wanted to add - we have The Elf on the Shelf and love it! I find the silliest places to hide that little guy. : )
Glad that you are feeling strong.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
Thanks courts and MO3. MO3, I found The Elf On The Shelf at Borders bookstore.
Not much here tonight. Hugged the kids, read to them and just enjoyed them.
After I put the kids to bed, W said she was tired so was heading to bed. Befor that I asked a pretty simple question about their trip and got 15 minutes of an explanation by W. Then she went to bed.
I am moving further and further from her. Not consciously, but it's happening. And this could be exactly what she wants.
This morning, the kids were excited to try to find the Elf on the Shelf.
Took kids out to the bus stop and waited with them like I always do. Came back in and W was downstairs, apparently doing laundry. Rather than find her to tell her good bye, I made myself a cup of coffee for the road, yelled down to her to have a good day, then left for work.
I will take the kids to pick out a cake/cupcakes for W's birthday as well as smoething for her (again, will let the kids pick it out). I will not buy a card, much less a present, for W. Not out of malice, but b/c I no longer feel like she is my W and I am her H. Her choice, and this is simply one of many consequences of her decision.
I would prefer not to be there when she has her birthday celebration, but it would be very unusual in the kids' eyes. If the kids knew what is coming, I would not be there. But they don't. So, I will be there and participate as little as possible.
I was at lunch and received an email from W. Actually, she sent it to her mother and BFF and just cc'd me. Basically, W had a job interview last week, and they just told her they picked the other candidate.
I wrestled over what the right thing to do was, especially with the way she sent the email. Anyway, I decided the right thing to do was to send an email that said simply "I'm sorry." Got back a "Thx."
Not thinking about the why, just noting it as odd, given where we are, that she would include me on that email.
Um, not odd. She knows this is trucking toward D and she wants you to know of difficulties she is having finding work. You know, so you'll go easy on her and she can drag this out to her heart's content.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
