Think OW is here in my house right now!

[aflowergurlie]

Made an appt to meet with another lawyer on Wednesday morning. Hope this one is better than last one.

My emotions have been all over the place today. The dam burst so-to-speak. Looks like from the bank account H has been on his way back today. I doubt he'll be here tonight though. And no matter how hard I try to stay angry and think about how traumatized and permanently damaged I am....(biggest sigh in the world)....I still miss him and wish that I could just wake up and this would have all just been a horrendously bad nightmare.

It's been over a week now since I've seen him - that being last Sunday in our kitchen confrontation and then me standing there and watching him walk out the door of our house with OW.

Right now I just wish I could go in the kitchen and start pulling out every single plate, dish, bowl, glass and start SMASHING them all. Just to relieve some of this pressure and tension building inside of me. And then just curl up in a ball and never stop crying.

Ok, so I really am glad he isn't and hopefully won't be here tonight, because I am feeling totally WRECKED and just needed to vent.

Oh and p.s. I also got news today that my mom might have a very serious medical problem and will be dealing with that too for the rest of the week while she gets a biopsy and more tests done. Ain't life grand?