H4L: I know what you're saying. I think it's not that there is someone out there who can push those buttons, but that the W allows those buttons to exist, whether through family upbringing, character, dynamics that resulted from the M, or a combo. The point is to have the commitment to work through not having those buttons there in the first place. Some character aspects may take a lot of work to iron out.
Rocked: always be positive of course, but the whole getting over OP thing is a moving target, and it's best you accept that. As someone posted in Puppy's (I think) thread, sometimes when my W looked pensively out the window, I do wonder if she is thinking of OM.
Personally, I also find that piecing involves some detaching from detachment . Remember the strong, confident, FABULOUS person you became? Well yeah, technically, you remain that person, and the M is a matter of choice not need. But that person wouldn't necesssarily choose to stay on with a known betrayer perhaps. One's gotta back down a little, open up again. And this is a whole nother thing from the forgiveness angle. Forgiveness is a separate and difficult ourney itself.
Sorry to ramble. Perhaps it's time I start a thread here too. Cheers!
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
. Remember the strong, confident, FABULOUS person you became? Well yeah, technically, you remain that person, and the M is a matter of choice not need. But that person wouldn't necesssarily choose to stay on with a known betrayer perhaps. One's gotta back down a little, open up again. And this is a whole nother thing from the forgiveness angle. Forgiveness is a separate and difficult ourney itself.
