Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I'm living with a man who doesn't want to be my husband. I know this deep down. I just refuse to admit it, as I want the marriage back together more than life itself right now.
As long as you really feel that way, he will continue to jerk you around and keep you at arm's length, because he knows you won't do anything to upset him (or will apologize profusely if you do).
Detachment 101. It really is a matter of "if you love someone, set them free."
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
congrats on the new hat purchase!! I love hats and sunglasses so I am always buying those things and sometimes hubby doesn't like them but he has no style sense so i just give him the "woman stare down" and walk away. When someone else compliments me on something he didn't originally like i give the look again, lol.
Just some advice on you stitch. I am still new but just want to let you know that so much of the advice you have been given I have used to get to the point of being ready to let my hubby go. I don't like it but his actions have led me to know that I am hurting the marriage more by not having those "real" conversations with him that need to occur.
Continue to act "as-if" but get ready in the near future to follow what gucci, puppy, trent, etc. have been telling you. IF he is not home to work on the marriage then he needs to leave...(not those exact words but something like that). Like I've read and am actually believing now, DBing can go against everything that you feel comfortable with doing but it does work. good luck and have fun over the holidays :-)
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
H comes home early this morning off his night shift. I'm getting ready for work. Its 7:30 am.
He walks into the bathroom and hands me a nice hot coffee straight from Tim Hortons, my favorite coffee joint next to Starbucks. I look at him like what? Last night you didn't have two words for me....
I say thank you, I appreciate that. He also brought mini donuts for the boys.
He looks at me and grabs me and gives me a big hug.
He then apologized..." Sorry for being such a jerk the last few days. It is just this bipolarness I have in me."
What? You actually admitted to having the characteristics of someone with bipolar disorder? Crazy! I didn't know what to say! He actually admitted his wrong behavior! He has apologized before for being a jerk, but that was it. No mention that it may be a "problem" with him....just that he may have been acting like a jerk.
I didn't know where to take this. I didn't know what to say. I really didn't respond. Hugged him back and thanked him again for the coffee.
I will mention that I was at his sister's house yesterday, and we got on the topic of the situation. I mentioned to her that one minute he is super perfect and affectionate with me, and the next minute he doesn't want to even look at me. She agreed that she sees this behaviour in him too. She also said that she doesn't know much about H's intentions but if she ever gets the chance she will investigate. I asked her not to say anything and she said she wouldn't. She said she doesn't ever say anything to him when we talk. But I'm leaning towards the fact that maybe she called him last night. I just can't see him coming to this realization all on his own.
He even took the kids to the dayhome for me as i was running late. He just got off of nights and was ready to sleep for the day but he said he would pack them up and take them. Wow. Not normal.
He came home and wished me a good day and hit the hay.
What now?
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
