Well, that sounds like you do plenty. At some point you have to put it on them, that THEY are the bore! Perhaps as robx suggests, she needs to see what she will lose. I know how you feel, trust me I do, you want to save your M, but in order to get yourself in the right frame of mind, try to step back and see your W as a potential mate. Is she appealing? Sounds like SHE'S the one in the rut.
Maybe you just need to be around less, and start to build your own life up, and see if she gets curious and wants to be included.
