Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

Then push him back out the door. Show him that you're ready and willing to have a life without him, and see what happens.

[Lll54]

p.s. What do you do when your significant other doesn't compliment you but does the complete opposite?

I bought this really cute winter hat and I love it. I walked in the house last night and H looks at me and says,

"Where did you get that awful hat from? It does not suit you at all..."

I smiled and said "thanks!" (I had no idea what to do, he has never insulted me like that before) I fell it was all out of the anger he was feeling from me not being home and him not knowing where I was. But still...

H continuted to diss the hat a few minutes later saying he can't believe I'm wearing that thing...ugh. When he gets in a mood, he gets in a mood.

[Ready2Change]

Some people have mentioned asking him to leave if he doesn't change his ways. But personally I'd rather wait till he leaves. If I ask him to leave then again, its my fault.

This is why boundaries are important. You give HIM two options and let him choice.

1) End the marriage.
2) Work on the marriage.

If spouse chooses option 1, then get out.
If spouse chooses option 2, then I need: Marriage counseling, respect,openness, honesty, transparency, love, etc....

Any yes, there are effective ways to phrase this to the spouse that are not so blunt.

[Lost Rabbit]

Britt I havent posted much on your thread but why do you put up with him being so rude? I'd be saying "H you might not like my hat and that is your choice to say you do not care for my hat, but I dont expect you to be rude to me in the same way, you are not to talk to me like that"!

[luvless]

aw Britt -

what a jerk thing to say! it makes me so mad!

If YOU think YOUR hat looks cute YOU strut YOUR new hat.

You're right he was just pisssed at you cuz you were out.

[Lll54]

Oh I know. Funny thing is...sis was with me when I bought it. She loves it! Says it totally cute. I even got checked out by this guy at the mall, so boo on him. He just has no style.

[TrentC]

Oh I know. Funny thing is...sis was with me when I bought it. She loves it! Says it totally cute. I even got checked out by this guy at the mall, so boo on him. He just has no style.

Or is being an ass.

[Lll54]

R2C, good point. I guess if you give him the option, then I'm throwing the ball back in his court. It wouldn't exactly be translated as me kicking him out. If he chooses not to work on marriage then that's his problem. I see this more clearly now. I do have to say I may wait till holidays are over though.

S3 is so excited for Christmas, and I don't want to ruin anything. He is excited for daddy to come home on shift christmas eve and open "one" gift, and to be there when he wakes up christmas morning. If i do this now, that will all change. I need to give that kid some security.

[TrentC]

S3 is so excited for Christmas, and I don't want to ruin anything. He is excited for daddy to come home on shift christmas eve and open "one" gift, and to be there when he wakes up christmas morning. If i do this now, that will all change. I need to give that kid some security.

Given that he may likely be moving out after the holidays (depending on his choice), I'm not sure how much security he'll be getting.

If you want to chalk it up to having a good Christmas memory, then that would be different...

[Puppy Dog Tails]

p.s. What do you do when your significant other doesn't compliment you but does the complete opposite?

I bought this really cute winter hat and I love it. I walked in the house last night and H looks at me and says,

"Where did you get that awful hat from? It does not suit you at all..."

A: (staring at him in disbelief, and shaking your head) GOD, you're an ass. It's REALLY not very attractive."

And then walk away.