Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

Just got a call from the Doctors Surgery asking for my wife. I told them she didn't live here anymore but I would get a message to her as they didn't have her new contact details. Last time this happened (just after W left) she gave them her new contact details, or at least she said she did.

Anyway, didn't think this was the kind of thing you play games with so I broke NC by asking IM to contact W and ask her to contact Doctor tomorrow and give them her up to date contact details. I did also ask IM to say I hoped she was okay but then asked IM to not say that (if you see what I mean). Wanted it to be business like.

If you send an xmas card.
Send it from your daughter and you.
Thats it.
Merry xmas
D and P
Leave it at that.

That's the way I thought about it too. I thought adding in another name, however much it would actually make me feel better, was deceitful and just ... well I don't know but it just didn't sit right with me!

Mom's and daughters. And your stitch. Shame can be the toughest weight for a Mom to carry when she knows her daughter has done something morally wrong. She questions her self as a mother and role model. Then add in how your country deals with issues such as what your going through. And who knows what WAS said to her about you if anything at all.

W's mum has had two divorces and two affairs (I think) so I think her morals are sitting way below the rest of us. Bundle that up with my belief that she is facilitating W to do what she is doing and I actually don't think W's mum gives a rats a$$.

I always thought my W hated what her mum had done to her and the way she behaved in her marriages. But, like mother like daughter ...

Her timing may not have been the greatest. But she did contact you. I would send a thankyou card back. GAL. Here. Tell them that you gave D 2 hugs for her. And D misses her. You hope she is well... yada yada yada. Short and sweet. DB her in the letter. If she is important to you. Tell her you were disappointed that she did not contact you or your mother during the final stages of her life. If she is not. Let it slide.

I thought she was important to me. I was close with her I thought. I think I will let it slide though as it may just cause tension and I can't really be bothered with that.

I will get D to make her up a special Xmas card too. How is that for DB'ing.

It would be nice to think that they could have a relationship with D even though they are not her natural grandparents. However they haven't asked anything about D since W left so what does that tell you.

No mention of WAS.
And it would have been in very poor taste if she mentioned WAS to you.
That would be like a xmas card that talked about your relationship.
Somethings do not mix well.

Once again you are right cutter. I wasn't thinking.

My burning question though is why do I go from on top of the world to rock bottom when there is contact?

Any pointers as to how I can understand my feelings or emotions at the time so I can stop this happening? Any insights at all even to put me in the right direction?

Anything? As I really am struggling with this one and it is throwing me every time.