I've been following along, have wanted to add something, & keep getting stuck, I think, because I'm engaged in something too close to the same scenario.
@june "Kalni- enough is enough. Divorce will give you, yes, additional sadness but some sort of peace to it all."
I just don't know that this is true. If it was a case of your H not giving any effort/still having OP/etc., then that may be the course to follow. To go there now seems premature, as crazy as that sounds to many.
Yes, it is possible to R after a D, although I believe you said it takes 1 year to get there, so if nothing was settled in that time it's prolly a done deal there after.
@ Kalni "I was thinking today driving home, I dont think there are a lot of men that AFTER meeting me (meaning the inner part not the outside) wouldnt be interested in me. So, why the hell cant I win him back? Drive him crazy? Make him want me? You know why? I've lost my detachement and myself. Again."
I think that's it. It is human nature & that is why the gucci/Robx/puppy method proves true. It is such a fine line, because you are the leader in the M & it's difficult to lead without pursuing.
So maybe some kind of hybrid path is the way to go. Some combination of Kat/Ali's & june/John's;
Confident, secure, who wouldn't want to be with me women, coupled with I will be fine with or with out you, hope you make the best choice.
And of course you're the only one who knows how long you're willing to hang in there. I just think there's a lot of pressure on the R right now & you know what pressure does (especially evident in the male species.)
And yes, you are very capable of attracting OP, no question. They of course don't come foible free, however, & you'll eventually have different R events to deal with in that R.
Just some thoughts, not sure how helpful they are.
