I hate to butt in and say this, but DR says it always takes way longer than you think it will. Hang in there. The fact that you see that it is working some days is huge improvement. Change happens through applying consistency through many ups and downs. Many folks on this forum say that they have had to keep up the DB pricipals even after reconsiliation - keep up the GAL and 180 and boundaries for life.
If you set some short terms goals, you can set a deadline for yourself for how long you can keep this up. I would say continue to take care of yourself this way at least to get yourself through the holidays. If it's working, even some of the time, keep it up. Then when you hit your personal deadline, try another new tactic - the point is to not go back to the old patterns.
I hope this helps. I've been separated for seven months, and been dBing for 3-4 months. Sadly, patience is the biggest and hardest thing to do, and feeling like you cannot continue to hold things together on your own while taking bad treatment is very very understandable and common. It's so hard to feel ignored and to see your children ignored - it's infuriating. But keep up your strength. My guess is that is exactly why he does it - to infuriate you so he can point a finger at you. It's the hardest thing in the world, but you have only your self respect to gain by continuing to act "as if". I cought up on your thread last night and you're doing great.
