@Gypsy -- thanks for the words.

So obviously I'm a completely unreasonable sonovab*tch, right?

Yesterday was my birthday. The kids "bought" me a cake, which means WAW bought it for them. Okay, fine. She calls the house at 8 a.m. I didn't answer because I didn't hear the phone ring. She left a VM to say that she's coming over in 10 minutes. I don't get the VM (obviously) because I don't hear the phone ring.

So I'm downstairs in my robe, dealing with a crying Girl-Child, and there's a knock at the door, open it up, and there's WAW. Well, needless to say I'm a bit unprepared for such a confrontation, plus I have the crying Girl-Child, and the Boy-Child starts asking if Mommy can stay for breakfast -- which the kids are "making" for me, which means I'm making what they tell me to make for me LOL -- and the house is a disaster because we've been putting up Xmas decorations and so I just look at her and say it's not a good time and in the future could she have a verbal confirmation from me before simply materializing at the door?

She spins on her heels and slams out the door in a huff.

Later that day, I take the kids to the movies as a reward for doing well at some chores, and they start in with "let's meet Mommy for dinner." It's my birthday. It's 8 months to the day -- at dinner time, almost to the minute -- since the Bomb. This is not sounding like something I'm interested in, but the kids, so, *sigh* "alright."

I send her the info, she agrees to meet us. Now this is for the kids' sake.

At dinner, we exchange a bit of smalltalk, but the focus is supposed to be Themselves.

This morning I have a nastygram about how unreasonable I am, "making" her come to dinner and then not spending it focused on her -- really! -- and what is my problem and I'm obviously completely unreasonable and an a**hole and she's in a new relationship now and needs to be able to focus on that and she just doesn't understand why I'm continuing to mourn the loss of something like this after all it's not as if she's still mourning the fact that 2 years ago.... blah blah blah. Oh and since I made such a big deal of her coming to the house, from now on we'll exchange the kids at a third-party location even if it scares them or makes the feel sad.

So I ask you -- I'm obviously unreasonable, right?