feel like giving up - talk to me!

[luvless]

Ok here's what happened - grab me and shake me and put me in prospective!

Fri night - dreading him coming home and felt very sad like I could cry at any moment (was texting a gf who said she was there for me) I was already dressed to go out deciding on whether I would go with friends and take off or hang out with him. He ends up getting home a little early while kids all went out to eat.

I felt such anger and defensiveness towards him when he came in. No hug or hello but from him but where are the kids? I told him and he said, "well do you wanna go do something?" I was mad and said, "I'm not in the mood to be upset tonight." I said you come in here like whatever - he stops me and says, "ok lets do this over" and he comes to give me a hug and a kiss. He sits down next to me and I say, "I have been really upset lately and I don't like what is going on and I'm in no mood so if you aren't going to be rude I'm going to "lisa's." He says, "fine."

We got to dinner (this really nice place) and have a bottle wine and talk a little here and there about the R (he brought up some) He keeps with his same story of being stressed and not wanting to care blah blah blah. We finished dinner and went to this cool hotel for a martini - great view - we sat and talked about funny stuff and bits of R here and there (some brought up by him) but we enjoyed the time together. We went home and had some fun in the bedroom.

The next morning my H woke up next to me. He cuddled with me. I wondered where the alien went. We did our usual stuff - he came in the bathroom and talked to me while I showered then we were off to breakfast. We had a nice time and he talked about work - i listened (not my fav subject) We sat there for a while then I started talking about last night and how I could use one of those again. We have some sexual banter and we go back to the house and "play" before we head out shopping.

Shopping...he held my hand...even stopping a couple times to kiss me (talk about confusion) asked me if I wanted a prize (his usual way) so we just end up shopping and he was just being him and I was content...even though I knew the alien would return.

We got home that night and he has been sitting on the opposite side of the couch consistently but sat night he came over and sat next to me. Laid his head on me and we talked for a little bit then fell asleep.

Sunday he was a little more distant but not mean or anything. I thought I'd take the alien to church - we needed it and so did my DB friends - I prayed for Trent, Sol, Mind, G, britt, soldier dad, Gardener, serenity and maple gal - that's all I could think of but I did ad you other guys in there too

Sunday lunch - he came to sit on my side of the table next to me and put his hand on my leg. He was affectionate and comments were endearing. He said, "I looked cute today." We just talked and watched the Dallas game. I'm glad the Chargers won BUT as the night progressed he wanted to get something to drink (and u know i hate when he drinks) towards the evening he is on the couch with my laptop looking at some stuff and says, "I don't care and as soon as you get that through your head the better off you will be." The ALIEN had returned. Is this because Monday was coming and the possible EA woman is around the corner or what? Help me guys! I'm at a loss.

I know he could be wavering and lighting me up like Kim says, but why not just stick to one side? either love me or leave me! WTF this is torture!