At the end of the day, you are right. It really does not matter what anybody here (or elsewhere) says. You will decide. It is becoming obvious to me and perhaps others that your H is who he is...he must have some postives or you would not be hanging around. I don't think you will pull the plug. I think you will ask him to move back. In spite of all he has done in the past 3 years, you and others still defend him or more precisely excuse his inactions. That is fine and like Ali said this is a Divorce Busting site. So my suggestion (I know you did not ask) is to lower your expectations....that is the only way you will be happy with your H. Accept his work schedule (because it is obvious that his work is important to him). Accept his lack of transparency as it pertains to his "addiction", because he does not think it is important. Accept his lack of intimacy and hope that it returns one day soon. Accept that he expects you to be the leader in the realtionship......so lead K.
Accept him for who is, qualities and negatives ... otherwise you will drive yourself nuts....some of us think you are already there (:-P)
