hoping for better times to come

[pearlharbr]

Maple, since H has taken the kids' papers I suggest that you still retain a L now. You don't have to go through with a D or even file for that matter, but you should take the steps to protect yourself as obviously H has already started down that road. You have already underestimated him, don't continue to make the same mistake.

As to his ending the A, I don't buy it either. If he was truly done he would be doing a lot more to convince you of that fact. My BF was swearing up and down he was no longer in contact with OW and even that wasn't true.

I think you do need time to think about what you really want for yourself. Then make a list of the dealbreakers and present them as Coach suggested. His reaction and subsequent actions (not words) will tell you what you need to know.

And don't think that you need to be able to forgive him immediately. I agreed to try to reconcile with BF but told him up front that I wasn't sure if I could ever forgive him and if I couldn't then we would go our separate ways because it wouldn't be fair to either one of us to live that way.