#67 Cant find my "pieces"

[june72]

This is a D busting forum. Yes, but there comes a point when a person's soul gets trashed in a marriage and for all intense purposes this is not a marriage and has NOT been one for years.

I hope for the best for K also and would LOVE if her marriage was to reconcile. But there is a thing called consequences. One person in a marriage does not get to destroy a marriage and then do NO work towards fixing it. This has been going on for YEARS.

I think Michelle herself would say enough. There is something often said on this board.

Not all marriages should be saved.

I repeat NOT ALL MARRIAGES SHOULD BE SAVED. (If you even call this a marriage- the way it has been for so long)


What is going on here is not healthy for Kalni. She is willing to try, her husband states he is also but taking no actions. Not even the simplest kind. She has laid out her requirements very CLEARLY for them to repair their marriage and he? He states he can NOT do them and can not do even the simplest task like give an email password. HOW CAN TRUST BE RESTORED?

A person can only DB for so long and if there is no positive results after a VERY LONG TIME then other actions maybe taken.


Why do you think that a D is it? There can still be a reconciliation after D. It happens all the time.
But this man needs to wake up and realize he is losing the best thing of his life.

I know you are a friend Ali but all of Kalni's friends close to her sitch and monk advise divorce. People on the message boards are leaning in that direction.

Kalni- enough is enough. Divorce will give you, yes, additional sadness but some sort of peace to it all.

He can still work his way back into your heart after the D. There has to be consequences and health boundaries though.

He want's to pretend nothing happened and she meant nothing to him. Sweeping things under the carpet and not working though them is the biggest mistake ever.

I think Puppy has a big opinion on this. I think he said something to the effect of the "biggest mistake he sees is people taking the WAS back too quickly without doing hard work before hand". I hope I am quoting him right here...


IDK, should Kalni, stand on her head, bend over backwards even more? Nicer, Kinder, cheerier, more forgiving yet again?


PLEASE! Enough already.

Ali I think your thought process is the fairytale we would all like Kalni to have but my thoughts the cold hard truth. IMO, of course.


Kalni can do as she chooses- I mean it's her life after all right,lol? But I would guess that months after continueing her efforts little would change. Only to go back to the boards to have her dissected again and again.
"Maybe he is still working through things" "Processing guilt" "She was too negative"

This man needs to SHOW his love towards Kalni if he wished to repair the damage. WORDS mean little if they are not immediately followed by actions.