I like how you put that! I guess I was looking at going dark as just not talking to her. Which I really haven't done much at all. The few times that I did was to talk about kids being sick, half day of school pick up, her paying car insurance, etc. I never even thought about me being around the house. I am busy a lot but you are right, I haven't given her a chance to miss me. I need to not be as available as I have been. This gives me a new perspective on things. Thanks. Oh, but next time can you take the nail out of the 2x4 before you whack me?
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
- talking about the kids being sick, how about just work on taking care of the kids, leave the discussion of them being sick for another time or let her start that discussion while you remain brief about it. - as for the half day school pick up, leave a note, write it on a calendar, - her paying car insurance, is the car insured under her name? Let her take care of it and if it's under your name, why? Her car, her insurance, one less thing for you to take care of for her.
You are too available, you help too much I'm sure and it's just something she takes for granted. Get a life, go to the gym, go out with buddies, seriously it's not that hard, enjoy your life instead of wasting it following someone who is currently in a fog and doesn't want you in their life - their loss, not yours, that's how you have to look at it and really you need to start enjoying your life.
Cars, house, insurance, everything is in my name. If I don't pay, or see that she pays I take the hit. But you are right, I am too dependable. I do spend time at gym and with friends but I now see that I need to spend less time at home. I really don't talk to her but I can see how I can even eliminate it more as you mentioned above. I guess I do these things because I have had to be the responsible one in the marriage. I am going to be visible to her a lot less.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Funny how you think you are doing something when you really aren't. I thought that I had really gone dark with my wife when in reality I had only gone semi-dark. Thanks robx for giving me more insight and a new perspective on things.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
Just me getting a life LOL! - plus december is just super busy, does anyone else notice this, with shopping, and visiting friends, and work, etc?
Yes, I am absolutely BURIED ever since Thanksgiving, and this week will be even worse. We offered to have D22 and her boyfriend and his son move into our other house (the one I stayed in when we separated briefly), and now we have only one week left to get it cleaned out and cleaned up for them. ME AND MY BIG MOUTH!!!!
Boy sometimes things really get tough. I'm at home talking to daughter, wife is on sofa watching TV and talking on cell phone. She gets up to get something and her robe opens up exposing her boob. Of course I eagerly look. She sees that I am looking and immediately snatches it closed. Ahh, good times. Funny how things that once were insignificant take on a lot greater meaning under different circumstances.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
wolverine, I know the feeling about insignificant things having greater meaning had a few of those moments also. At my house now everything is doors closed and locked. Although the locking part stopped in the last week and a little less shut doors. Your spouse is cake eating about the bills. Every sitch is different, so you need to try different things to see what works.
Yeah, you are right. I'm trying to stop the cake eating without causing a complete uproar at the same time. But if I can't then I'll have to go to some extreme measures. I already know one situation that is about to happen. My birthday is close and the tags will be due on both cars. I am only going to renew the tags for my car unless she gives me money for it. Also, I'm going to see if she gives me money to help pay bills this week. If she doesn't then I've decided to go a little more extreme and cancel a few things. The first thing is going to be the car insurance. Without the car she is dead in the water.
Me-47 WAW-42 D-16 S-14 M-22 yrs T-19 yrs ILYBNILWY-3 years ago. Full Story and original posts: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...066#Post1781066
