I explained to him what transparency meant and that he would feel like I would be watching him 24/7 and he would feel like he was under the microscope.
"I understand how you could feel that way. I need the transparenecy to heal and regain trust. If you can't agree then it will lead to a divorce because I cannot live that way."
Validation of his feelings - Your need - Consequence of his behavior, which is his choice.
Yep -- BINGO.
I told my wife I understood COMPLETELY if she didn't want to do the things I was asking, and I meant it. I probably wouldn't. "But you do need to know that these are 'dealbreakers' for me."
The choice was entirely hers; she just had to make the choice with the full knowledge of what MY position was, which is only fair.
