Also, "2) Grieve the loss of OM" -- wtf??? Yes, she will probably have to do that, but you don't put that on YOUR list of boundaries!!!
Boundaries should be:
1) Quit your job immediately, and begin looking for another one.
2) Write "no-contact" letter to OM, the content of which is to be approved by you and the letter is to be mailed or delivered by you (so that she doesn't add anything to it before mailing).
3) FULL TRANSPARENCY -- e-mail login/passwords, new cellphone # with detailed billing which comes to you, keylogger on her computer, she keeps her cellphone unlocked and available to you anytime you want to look at it, exchange daily schedules, etc.
4) Counseling -- not sure what you can afford, but a good pro-marriage MC who specializes in infidelity is a must, plus probably an IC for her.
5) She gets a full-panel STD test, and shows you the results. Once now, and once again six months from now.
