ok sorry..you understand how trying and confusing this can be.My wife and i went to our church this morning. the sermon was moving as usual. She reached for my hand and we clasped for 15 mins. I know it's not much but it felt good anyhow.Then we went to brunch with her sister. Again, usual behavior, but it offers me hope. !?!
First, you don't act a H who is M to her (if that makes any sense). Some men stop being that sexy, self-confident, strong, male the minute he says "I do" and falls into some other mode. Women do too, and it isn't attractive.
Find that man she fell in love with and let her see that side of him. Yes, you have to try and get along with her as best you can.....but sexual attraction (IMHO) is more important than just being best friends. I think that is why so many MR get stuck in that stage of "limbo" b/c she feels safe in the BF stage.
So remember how you got to that stage of "lover" before you M her? There you go.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
i'll try to remember but i don't think i've changed all that much..i'm a giver, always have been. It's hard for me to go the other way (180). I know this is the advice. But right now we are still do everything the same..gym, movies, dining, church, cuddling ,dog...EXCEPT..sex, which she doesn't want!!!I keep hoping she'll let a cuddle turn to more ,BUT i'm not even pushing or even trying at all. No relationship talk either...It's hard!!!
Wow, rob668, your situation is exactly like mine. I'm 46, wife 39 and she has always initiated sex and was the aggressor. I didn't initiate sex much and is one of the reasons she left. We did go MC last year which we both thought it helped. One thing I realized is that since I didn't initiate sex, it made her feel less attractive and desirable.
I have been DB for the last 3 months. Take all the advice here. It does work. Be mysterious and do GAL. Don't tell her the details what you're up to. Just say "I have plans". Be mysterious. Sometimes I slip and try to go out of my way to please my wife. This backfires. It assures her in her mind that I still want her.
Try to create a vision in her mind what life will be like without you. She'll start missing what she took for granted.
i'll try to remember but i don't think i've changed all that much..i'm a giver, always have been. It's hard for me to go the other way (180). I know this is the advice. But right now we are still do everything the same..gym, movies, dining, church, cuddling ,dog...EXCEPT..sex, which she doesn't want!!!I keep hoping she'll let a cuddle turn to more ,BUT i'm not even pushing or even trying at all. No relationship talk either...It's hard!!!
Because you do too many things together and you've allowed her to be comfortable with all these things, you became a friend and a roommate, instead of a lover. You're always there! Can't you see that, you guys do everything together, you're always there! You've never given her the gift of missing you, she knows where you are 24/7.
Go out, go to a different gym, start hanging out with your friends more, start going out on dates with other women. People take for granted the things they have and in doing so they don't appreciate them until they're gone, but you're always there!!!!
