thinking ex must of gone back in his little tunnel, no-one has heard from him for over a week, I know hes about and nothing is seriously wrong with him, maybe hes back in withdrawal or as the winter blues, who knows not I, lol
so I need some input please as I have a little problem here. You all know the sitch over here, son wont go to exs new place cos wifey is there, son wants to see dad at xmas, dad wants to see son at xmas, my question is this where in heavens name is that going to happen? I am at a place now in my life that I would be able to invite ex into my home, for the sake of son and especially at xmas time. DO I DO IT OR DONT I is the question, would it be wrong of me to invite ex into my home to spend a little time with son, ex hasnt seen son the last two christmases and barely spent an hour each the two previous ones, dunno what to do folks, is it being pushy am I expecting too much. I would make myself busy in the kitchen as I am having the family over later in the day so it isnt as if he would be near me he would be in the living room with son. Please advise as I dont know what to do for the best, and having said that ex would probably turn the offer down as he would get in trouble of wifey, give me your thoughts please
That's a tough question. I personally would not ASK my MLC'er to come by and visit. If she asked to come by and see our S, I would gladly extend an invitation.
My guess is they would find it extremely difficult to visit during the holidays. It probably brings back too many memories.
Whether he visits or not, make sure your S knows that he is number 1 in your life.
Drewnole, my son and his dad have only been talking since July, when they first started talking ex picked son up from up the road, when he dropped him off he had the balls to sit at the top of my drive and wave and smile, since then he picks up and drops off at top of my drive, xmas morning if ex is calling to see son I dont personaly want it taking place outside in the street for all the neighbours to see, whatever happens I wont be the first to jump in and invite him in, but if he says he is coming round to see son, I dunno, I just cant see it taking place in the street
I think that depends on how you feel about having him in your house and how he would act in your house.
Given that you are very far along with all this (that is, your X will not act entitled), I think it would be all right if you did. As recently as a month ago, X made himself quite at home to the point of trying to change the channel on my TV. I was offended by that. You don't walk into someone else's house and change their TV!
As far as invite him, it seems to me that he needs to make some effort to mend things w/son and it is his responsibility to figure out how to make these arrangements. If he ASKS, then you could agree, for the sake of your son. But I wouldn't volunteer. It should be clear that you are doing him a FAVOR.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I would also agree I would not ask my xh to stop by at christmas He needs to be the one to deal with his R with the kids and if he chooses no R so be it I am not going to fix it anymore yes it is sad, the mlcer does not seem for the most part to be an available parent that is still the way it is I would always encourage the R with mlcewr and child I would help in any way to promote interaction be flexible ect ,,if xh was asking for that but im not going to try to rescue it anymore just my opinion peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
well ex phoned regards seeing son at christmas, said he really wants to see him xmas morning, I asked how he was going to get round the sitch, his reply he didnt know, so I took the plunge and told him I didnt have a problem with him coming into my home and spending an hour or so with son and I would make myself scarce, his reply was, oh no no no no I am not doing that, but son is more than welcome to come spend an hour at our place, so as I knew son wouldnt swallow that one either I said I would leave it with him. After speaking to son about it he said he is definately not going to their place and doesnt want any hassle about it, so i texted ex and asked if he thought it better if he saw son either xmas eve or boxing day as then there would be places open where they could go, he replied if thats wot son wants. so I put it on offer and was turned down which in a way I fully expected but again it is ex's loss, he wont be seeing his aunt and neither his son on xmas day, he is at the full discretion of his wifey and her family and his dont matter, what next oh well I will enjoy my day with my son and my family, he wont be in my head, woooopeeee
ML, If I may suggest...try not to be the messenger in any way between your X and S. Let them speak directly. It seems your S is old enough to make plans now?
The goal for me now is peaceful co-parenting, with the hope that she has a good R w/X. I fear DD will have abandonment issues.
It was good that you offered to let X meet at your place.
Now I know that nobody is happy seeing their children develop a R w/OP...and frankly it worries the heck out of me because OG is a very messed up girl child, but at the same time, it is more important that our children have some sort of sense of the other parent.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Forward I thank you for your reply, as you say and I feel I did good to offer my place as a meeting point for ex and son on xmas day, it was an offer for sons sake not mine, it got turned down, I wont be offering anymore, I truly feel that ex isnt bothered about his child and it is again getting less and less that he is seeing him, so be it, if thats what ex wants let ex have that, I am not bothered at the end of the day, me and son will have christmas together I only tried to help, regards my friend
