WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Just catching up on some journaling

I was a good week with the boys and I as they got to stay at home through Tues nite. I had an interview on Tues that went pretty well (thanks Mindful!) where she had to pick up my 3 year old from day care (he goes just on Tues and Thurs) and her mom picked up my 7 year old from school. We had pre-arranged that I would pick them up from her at a resturant, but as timing worked out, we wound up having dinner together (the 4 of us). This was the first time since I found out the truth.

I really wasn't looking forward to it as I drove to the resturant as I didn't know how I would feel when I saw her. My dear friend reminded me to act happy and like all is well - tall order considering how mad I still am at how she cheated on me and was so cruel all year. Anyway, when I got to the resturant, the boys were thrilled to see me so that really helped me get into the right spirit.

Overall, we had a good time at dinner, it was just like the dinners we used to have before I found out the truth. The boys came home with me from the dinner that nite and I always find it interesting how they never freak out when they go from her to I but my 3 year old is really stressed when he leaves me to go with her.

Anyway, she wound up picking them up from me on Weds nite. It was hard as my 3 year old was really stressing as they drove away. After they drove away, I wound up going out with on of my buddies for beer and wings.

Thurs morning, she dropped off my 7 yeard old so that I could take hime to school. He and I had some one on one time for a bit before I had to take him to school. He really likes having that time with me as we get it so rarely now. When I picked him up from school, we got to play catch with a football for a while before we had to go in so he could get his homework done before his mom picked him up.

When she showed up with my 3 year old, once again, he was stressing as they drove away. I spent most of that nite, sending out resumes again and preparing for my interview on Fri.

Friday, she dropped off both of my boys. After we dropped off the 7 year old at school, my 3 year old and I got to have another one on one day. It was pretty miserable out (cold and raining), but my mid morning, it stopped raining and warmed up slightly so we went outside. My 3 year old was amazed how the swales around our development were like mini-rivers with all the rain run off. We wound up throwing acorns into the "river" and watching them float away. He kept saying how it was a little adventure for him and I. Even though my feet were soaked (he had rain boots on), it was a blast!

I dropped him off at her mom's house shortly after lunch so that I could go to my interviews. He seemed a little sad, but he knew I had to go to a meeting about a job so he knew that was something I had to do.

The inteviews didn't end till almost 6:30 PM and I was tempted to pick up the boys from her, but decided to stick with the plan of picking them up when we met for breakfast Sat morning.

So that Friday nite as the first friday nite I did not have the kids since she moved out. It was sorta last minute that we worked out that she would keep the kids Fri nite, and I had tried to call some of my buddies to see if they wanted to go out, but all my buddies are married with kids, so they couldn't. I wound up just chillin at home and texting with some of my friends.

We met Sat AM for breakfast at IHOP. I picked them up from her place. The kids were really excited to see me. I was a little annoyed with her as she seemed very preoccupied with her phone (she was getting texts) but I tried to take a whatever attitude. I had gotten a few texts during breakfast too. She actually forwarded me a text where one of friend's brother-in-law had gotten killed Fri nite in a car accidenet.

Unfortunately, when my phone beeped, she said she forwarded me a text. I looked at it and it was something from someone else that made me smile. I looked at her and she gave me a WTF look and said she can't believe I thought it was funny. I said I didn't get her text yet, it was from someone else. Just then her text came in and I saw it. I just told her it was really sad, but you never know what life brings you.

She then sent me another text that said his wife had thrown him out just before thanksgiving because of his drinking. I didn't respond.

On the way back to dropping her off at her apt, she asked about what time do I need to drop off the kids at her mom's on Tues (we have a court appointment for Custody and support). I told her about an hour before we had to be at court. Then I asked if she ever did anything on the agreement I asked her to put together. She said she had some ideas, but we had to talk. I just said ok, just let me know when. Of course she never called on Sat nite or tonite.

Whatever......

I did have a good weekend with the boys as my boys brought the train back from her apt so we put it together this weekend. It was pretty miserable all weekend, so we pretty much stayed at home (we went out for a bit on Sat for a short bike ride but it was cold). We did wind up writing letters to Santa so that was pretty cool.

So goes another weekend....