I'm still very much undecided if D11 soon to be D12 can handle her dad moving out.
Fixer, this made me think about my relationship with my own dad, and my D's relationship with theirs. It's too late here for a coherent reply, but I'll try to explain more tomorrow. I will say that I think it's awesome that you're factoring D11's needs into your decisions in this way.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
She's afraid. Of what I don't know but I think she's afraid. Could be all the changes that life has thrown our way or could it be something else? Either way things get better than worse. How can I show her I care if she doesn't let me in?
Anyways, I'm not afraid and I don't care what happens to me.
I wrote my last post while we were in the middle of a fight. She told me to shut-up, so I did. She's going away to think, but I think it is to party.
Our fight was about my SS who I stopped cleaning up after. She pushed a few of my buttons and said I don't listen - I fear something I'll never let down. I'm good at validating and have been for many years. All it took was one slip-up and suddenly all the progress in our R is pushed back five years.
If you're wondering why I slipped, simple. She was angry and didn't want to talk. I took what she said personally and wanted to know.
The day after our fight my W gave me a kiss and a hug that lasted a second longer than usual. She squeezed tighter which made be think what was different? My W still won't go to bed until 4 or 5 in the morning. Instead she chooses to sleep on the couch for most of the night.
I keep fighting back the thoughts of leaving her. One moment I want to stay and then the next moment I want to go. I've been staying for D8 who's now D12. My D's has seen how my W acts toward the two of us, but she prefers to be with her mom than me. Maybe it's an age thing or maybe she's gotten tired of being around me. Whatever the reason it hurts to be rejected by her too.
I hope and pray my W is turning the MLC corner. I've been keeping my guard up and I hope it doesn't deter her from coming out of the MLC haze.
Not much of what she does bothers me any more. When she take off on spur of the moment trip, I hoped it was for good. When she goes out at night I don't care when she comes home. When she gets ill from drinking too much - I'm there for her, but I don't know why.
Wow... Thanks for the words of encouragement. The last thing I would want from this board is to have someone kick my butt.
My biggest concern is if my W thinks our stich is okay. I'm dropping her off at the airport tomorrow so she can get away to think. Unfortunately, she will be going to stay with the former OM in her life and his wife. So how can she get away to think?
My concern for the week will be D12. I hope she and I can get along. I hope she doesn't feel abandoned by my W's absent and decide to lash out at me.
This morning D12 and I took my W to the airport. D12 kissed her goodbye and gave her a great big hug. My W rarely shows me any affection, but she gave me a peck on the lips and small hug.
D12 commented on how she would like to do more things with her on the way home. She didn't like how mom hangs around more with friends than us. I agree with her it would be nice if we were a family.
