I think that missing having someone there is the worst part.
It looks like you have a lot going on. I would say try the best you can to focus on your girls. For me, with S having the first Christmas he understands and will remember, he is loving everything so that helps me a lot. Focus on them because they will bring the joy you need to get through.
Have a great week!
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89