here we go again

[Jstar]

i'm scared to get a response back i'm scared to not get a response back. what is said on the other side of his text.

i've been dark since nov26 and the not having to talk to him is letting me breath and not think about so much stuff so much in my face, a major stress reliever.

i know at some point in time i will have to speak to him or see him, i don't know if i'm ready.

don't get me wrong i want to work on my marriage but in the past i have always been the one to piece it back together again, i don't want to do that anymore. i have also been the one to chase and pursue and i'm not doing any of that this time.

i miss him but not the him i've been married to for some time.

i would hang on every word he says, read into it and no matter what put my own spin on what it all means. rate now, i'm detached somewhat from doing this.