K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

Well,

So far W wanted to discuss Christmas plans with me tonight. I never did contact her to discuss them.

Kevin

[K4D]

Last night I went to see my priest. Then I met with a friend who is going through an absolute horrible divorce. This is one for the books. I have never heard of someone doing what this person is doing to my friend. Unreal. I am stunned that a judge would even allow this to happen. But I won't speak of the details right now. But some people truly are horrible and put others in a worse position than I am in.

Today I went to the church to help with others renovate the new parish we bought. I figured it was something good and constructive I could do with some of my time.

This evening I went to a friends house who has viewed this site but never posted. He and his W are separated. We ate dinner and played some board games with another friend of his that showed up. It was a fun evening.

Tomorrow is mass in our new building. I am going to work out again after mass, tidy up my place, work on my resume and then go to W's house and get out tree and set it up so that me and the girls can decorate it on Tuesday night when they come back over. D12 has a choir concert at her school Tuesday so I will have to reschedule the C appointment. I'm sure W will try to get in the Christmas plans talk tomorrow night when I am over there.

Kevin

[Startingover2]

Good for you in not responding right away. Its tough and all I do is stare at my phone at times, but its sort of empowering.

Meet the conversation head on like you have ideas about the plans yourself because you are such a busy and fun guy!

[K4D]

Thanks SO2,

I just got a text from my W saying that her sister is inviting me to her daughters birthday party tuesday night and would I like to come that night and have my kids Monday or Wednesday night. I haven't responded. It seems like these invites I am getting now are because they days they want to have my girls, birthdays and Christmas are the days I have them. Just makes me wonder.

Kevin

[CityGirl]

Respond tomorrow with:

Hi W: The b-day party sounds fun but the girls and I have plans for Tuesday night therefore the schedule cannot be switched. Enjoy the party!

[K4D]

I haven't responded yet. Now I just got a text from W's sister telling me her and her daughter would like to invite me to her daugthers birthday. Her daugher is 5. I doubt she had much of a request in for this.

I still haven't responded to either text. I know this is nothing more than I have the girls Tuesday night and Christmas day which is when my W's family wants them. If this had anything to do with me, I would think I would actually be invited now and then to something that wasn't on the night when I had the girls for something they are wanting the girls for.

Talk about manipulating.

Kevin

[Startingover2]

Do you have something already planned for Tuesday? It would be nice to cancel on W to show your boundaries, but the sucky part is for your kids. IMO, unless you have some other plans already in motion for that night the only one that loses is your girls.

If you don't have some other plans I would actually take them. If you have plans then you have plans.

[K4D]

No,

I don't have any plans. D12 has a choir concert after school that I am attending and W and her family are attending. After that they want to do a birthday dinner at 7:30.

This really sucks the position they are putting me in. I know about plenty of other things they have been doing this month when W has had the girls, and not one phone call or text about inviting me. Now because I have the girls, I am all of a sudden invited. How am I supposed to feel about that. I am alreadying thinking about how uncomfortable this is going to be for me being with the family that wrote me off and banished me, knowing I am only there because they want my girls there.

I am really uneasy about going myself. I am almost half tempted to just tell them to take the girls and I will have them another night. Why do I want to be around people like that after the way they have been to me this past year and basically still are by simply trying to maniuplate me to get what they want.

Kevin

[Startingover2]

It does suck that people are like this. I don't understand. Maybe you can trade W a night if it works for you. I don't think it makes you a doormat, it makes you think about your kids first. Can you have them Monday night and you can do your tree?

[P17]

I am alreadying thinking about how uncomfortable this is going to be for me being with the family that wrote me off and banished me, knowing I am only there because they want my girls there.

I'd cancel and take the girls somewhere. Then they don't miss out.

The point here is establishing that YOU are in control when YOU have the girls.

The girls don't need their dad feeling like cr*p, being uncomfortable and not being there for them while at the party. You need to look after you. The girls will get over it. Especially if you do something equally good with them.