I still don't think you're quite clear on the dynamic
I'm not sure what you mean by this- do you mean I don't know how to go dark? Because that's probably true- I know the theory, but have trouble putting it into action. My "people- pleaser" personality (especially when it comes to H) is still in control too often.
I called my counselor over a week ago but I couldn't get an appointment until mid-January, but I am on the cancellation list. That seemed OK because I wasn't in a crisis mode after the move out. But I think I do need time and help to figure out who I am- on my own and without H's influence; I have hardly begun to think about that one.
