Counseling conundrums

[TrentC]

Last night he IM’d me. During the conversation I let him know that I know he modified his profile. He tells me I should set one up for myself- “No need to deny my sexuality”. Oh- and is my webcam on? Is BOB getting a workout? Where I am storing BOB? How’s the battery situation? He moans about never having gone this long without sex since we started dating 21 years ago. (Sorry H- no webcam show, you’re on your own…)

I realize that you two are still married, but those questions are WAY out of line considering the state of your relationship! He was grilling you about whether or not you were getting your kit off regularly? Seriously? What a sleazeball!

And he's moaning about not getting any but he's got a singles profile up? I think he can take care of himself just fine then...

And today- he and I are decorating the Christmas tree. Halfway through, he pulls me onto his lap, strokes my back, neck and hair like he knows I love, kisses me, and this goes on way too long.

[...]

I’m a little nervous to be alone with him, not out of fear, but because that boundary got weakened and we both know it.

Yep, he was totally testing your boundary. That's what all of this nice behavior is about -- trying to lure you back in.

Easy answer- go dark, I know. I wish I knew if he was missing ME, and not just a sexual partner. I don’t trust what I see and hear from him. And I wish I knew why he was being so nice- is it guilt? Trying to soften me up for sex and keep me from asking for support? I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure all this out.

I think this is the truth, sorry to say.