First time poster feeling a bit lost

[MT21]

We talked some more R today..I know we shouldnt but somehow although difficult we started to strike some common ground about boundaries.

We share the same Bank account, we have decided to keep the Joint account but to put equal amounts of money in each others.. not much but enough to give some independence.. I am not going to fund sexy lingerie when quite frankly am not getting the benefit.
We talked about how much money she spent on her night out, she said not much.. I asked her to count it up.. $600.
It may not be much to some...but I think thats a lot for one night.. but its not really about the cost. its about the secrecy. Secrecy that has been there for years... At one point I know she had more than 100 pairs of shoes.. I have 5. Gym, work, dress shoes, Boots, casual.. I know I am not a women and you need more but over 100???

I have just finished redecorating the bedroom it looks great..all warm..finished in ruby..My daughter asked " Mummy when are you going to sleep in here again because its lovely.." she did not answer at first so my D repeated the question. Normally I would have filled the horrible silence but today was different. She brought the rain..shes split the family unit, it was her dilemma..let her answer it..eventually she gave some muttered response.

My D's are great, they really like the change in me..I am much calmer around them, I dont shout at them just for being kids..the W is less calm (loving but quick to snap) They also compliment me regularly on my new physique..I was changin my shirt when the eldest crys out "Dad, look at your stomach.." "its real muscly! You have a six pack!"

I know she heard..(No effect..or at least not immediate) but thanks again girls b/c it makes me feel good and more confident.

We agreed to book counseling as soon as possible...but I dont know if it can help..she is real determined, although she has no real plans. She really doesnt know what to do next. I think she is expecting me to plan our D, or at least thats the way it feels. (Well I am not! I wont help her.)

This evening was pleasant, I find it much easier to be around her when I am trying not to be so formal, no r talk but friendlier..I am not sure if this the right thing to do?
I still have every intention though of trying lots of new things and GAL'ing, Gym, socialising, and I am going to learn Japanese...just some stuff for me.

Happier more comfortable tonight..accepting the change in her. but not forgetting myself.

MT