this isn't going to work because then H knows I myself don't have more money to retain a lawyer if I just used the money for whatever. And then H will be mad about me taking money (regardless, I know by law it doesn't matter, it is 50/50 here), but will go open another bank account and then I will have to go through all legal process of getting his statements and all that mess - it will just drag on and on.
If I tell him right up front it is for legal fees so we can get the divorce, he is not going to object because it is perpetuating the divorce he wants to be done as well. He wants the divorce he just doesn't want to have to do all the stuff involved to get one. He avoids all conflict by nature and would rather bury his head in the sand than go through this stuff.
So I would rather just tell him that it is for legal fees right up front and that it will help in getting this done in the quickest, cheapest way possible.
And I would rather just tell him first before he discovers it so it doesn't look like to him that I was trying to do something to get back at him.
I'm concerned abbout you only taking $1,000 and then hoping your H doesn't stop putting money in the joint account. Sure, he wants the divorce, that doesn't mean he wants any money to go with you. How much money is available in the joint account?
Consider that once he knows you have retained a lawyer, he may still stop putting money in the joint account. Then where are you? $1,000 doesn't go very far in legal proceedings.
Consider taking out half or all of the joint funds now. Depending on how much is there, you could then know that you have enough to live and pay additional legal fees if you and he do not reach an agreement. The funds you take from the joint account, can go towards your share if you do agree.
