Originally Posted By: avermont
So, how to get out in the world, see if men find me attractive, build my self esteem, have X hear that I am out and about without just being a total USER of some poor guy?


Be honest? "I'm just getting out of a long-term relationship, so I'm not ready to see other people romantically yet."

Originally Posted By: avermont
It could happen, maybe, that I would like the guy enough to help me detach and move on?


That's not what detaching is about. It's about not taking responsibility for, or ownership of, his emotional state or reactions.

Livestrong.com has a good article on detachment.

Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."