Well, but as it was set up as a date, unfortunately there probably are expectations.

And as P17 said, that is totally not fair.

So, how to get out in the world, see if men find me attractive, build my self esteem, have X hear that I am out and about without just being a total USER of some poor guy?

It could happen, maybe, that I would like the guy enough to help me detach and move on?

I do not want to build up any bad karma.

So, how to get out without being unfair to potential dates?

Me: 44
Him: 42
Together: 23 years; never married
Bomb: August 1, 2009
Affair since May 2009
Walk away; no conversation; no process