Is this the end of my marriage?

[avermont]

[/quote]The best tip I got about this is to accept that the situation is what it is and go along for the ride. Don't resist it. Accept it. You don't have to like or agree with it, but accept it.

This is Buddhism in action. Non-aversion, non-attachment; neutral acceptance of what is. I know the theory; it's the practice I have trouble with.

That is assuming you want to move on and are not going to DB. I can't see how you could do both. You could detach and DB, but not move on[quote].

This is what I don't get. My X is totally with the OW. So I am GALing, acting as if, acting cheerful around him-but we have almost no contact. So those are DB techniques, but as others have advised, while he is actively in the A, there is no R to work on.

Cutterbug seemed to be advocating moving on with a tiny little spark of love for your X locked in your heart--just in case. But this also seems to lead to emotional limbo land.

As for dating--I would rather do what pearlhbr recommends and just hang at the bar with some single gal pals, so there can just be fun casual interaction. I am working on trying to find those gals.

So I am totally conflicted about dating. I don't want to lead anyone down any garden path, and if I am not ready to date, I shouldn't. I said a little bit about still being in an emotion ping-pong state, just putting myself out there to see what it's like--trying to give a gentle clue that I am not REALLY ready to start an R, but am trying to see what the world is like.

Assuming we will see each other again--and I think we will-I will try to find some way of saying that more clearly, without dumping a lot of too much personal info on him. Then he could--or I could-say--well, then it isn't right, I don't want to drive over here, or have you drive over here, for someone who really isn't into this.

Is that fair enough? I DO NOT want to be a jerk!