Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

I am trying to move on, but because I am still struggling with the tantrum feeling of "I don't wanna and you can't make me!"

The best tip I got about this is to accept that the situation is what it is and go along for the ride. Don't resist it. Accept it. You don't have to like or agree with it, but accept it.

That is assuming you want to move on and are not going to DB. I can't see how you could do both. You could detach and DB, but not move on.

(insert voice of 2 year old here) I am looking for the balance of accepting the end of it in my heart and head

That is one of the most difficult things to do. The head wants to move on, but the heart still yearns and pines for WAS. They both need to work together for you to be able to move on.

And that can't happen, so I must just persevere with detachment, right? Is there a good mantra for that? That I can repeat 2000 times a day, or maybe get tattooed on my hand?

No. Nothing like that or we'd all be doing it. There is no golden rule, golden arrow, one shot pill etc. You just get over this in your own time at your own pace and in your own way.

The best book I have bought on this is 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus - Starting Over' by John Gray (recommended by Sandi2 I think).

You need to heal in your own time. The four healing emotions are anger, sadness, fear and sorrow. You must feel all of them at your own pace for you to grieve.

I don't want to repeat the book here. I'd buy it and give it a read. It's tough reading (I like reading but I found this book tough to go through) but it makes a lot of sense.

If you don't want to date, then I'd stop before you get too attached to this guy or he get's too attached to you. That's not fair.