I can take it no more soldiers wife need help

[armywifevampi]

we are 35 me and him ... can i say its been going on 3days or 4 not a call or a text to me or his doughter shes 18... im doing a little better ... ok i guess i just havent felt much thats all not only with this but also with my doughter as well...and i think everything around me ....

[bluerain]

oh, girl, you are still so young! You have lots of time left!

Right now you should be focusing on how long it has been since YOU have called him! You have gone dark. He is not to know what you are up to, if he does call, dont answer, let him leave a message, and IF you do answer it, wait a while to do it! Right now you need to make yourself into a successful, strong woman- That is what is going to turn his head!

Think about it this way, if you have one end of a rope and the other end is tied to an elephant, no matter how hard you pull that rope, the elephant wont come. You will exhaust yourself, and the elephant will get pissed. But if you drop the rope and wait for the elephant to come to you, you can plan what your going to do when it gets there, and you can get ready for it.

So drop the rope. Take care of yourself, eat, sleep, get together with friends- especially when you dont feel like it!

Men want what they cant have, and when he realizes that you dont need him anymore, he will notice!

[armywifevampi]

is it true u never really know ur other half like u think u do..... cuz I do but this time...... he is someone I have never met in my life..... ive been with him 21years and every time he tells me u should know me by now ....... how if I have never in my 21years seen this.... im trying very hard to be the hard person I know I am ... but when he emotionally hits me with his words is to stab me with a knives and leave it in there... that’s how bad he is right know ...... that if I where to bring the subject of my feelings or me in the picture... he will go off...... I don’t want to be his friend I will never be his friend.... im his wife so why dose he act like that like if I was a friend.... he knows I would never be a friend to him .... no mater what ..... when its over for good its over for good.... and I don’t want to get that way cuz.. ill keep hurting in side even though I know he wont come back... when that happens . .. imp a loner the type of person that u met and say oooo she look scary... all my daughter and his friends say that all the time always till they start to talk to me and hang with me.... why cuz i mean business when its time and when its time to play I do to..... but at my age not as a child... I grow up quick cuz I had my baby girl at 16 and married him at the same time... we planed her .... even though I know he was not ready for one after I had her.... never had another since cuz he don’t want no more kids ....... im sure this comes from more then just a few weeks or months I think its more like years.... and since he don’t like to talk about it he hides from his fears and the truth of it all...... im sure he knows he’s wrong.... sometimes I think he is doing this cuz he don’t want me to live this life he has going new for him.... I know I think to much but if ur always the leader and not a follower u think allot to make sure everything in ur life goes good... I sometimes would like not to think about nothing but I have way to much on my mind..... with this and our daughter and my job and life it self ........ I was going to forget allot of things when I was going to see him... see ive never seen snow or been out of here.... so that way my getaway.... to be with him and see my dream I always said I will see it with him.... also our anniversary is on dec. 25 on xmass day that’s when we married it will be our 21years and its getting closer so its harder for me to cope our boyfriend and girlfriend anniversary was on thanksgiving day when he for the 3time broke up with me.... so I think this to has allot to do with my emotions right know... im trying though....

[bluerain]

he...he...he...he. I dont care about him- the bottom line right now is that this is not the man that you married - is he? Has he always acted like this? How are you going to make your life better? I know that you have a lot of things on your mind right now... which is why it is an excellent time to come up with a plan!

I know that its hard, and I know that its scary, but I really feel like you are not even acknowledging what Im saying. If you want help, we can offer help, but you have to calm down and listen.

[armywifevampi]

I am listening... to u at all times... I just say what I feel at the moment and thinking at the time... im trying so hard to take him out of my mine.. its been 4day I have not called him or talk to him... and im not going to... but how can u not care to find out how are things at home... there is no one to tell him how we are... or anything that can do that otherwise... I don’t think he wants to come back to me at all... I read everything... uve said and im putting it in my head and its holding me together but when the night falls it just hurts... so I try not to think about it...I want to give him a slap in the face... I really do I think im not cut out to be strong in this feeling part... and I know I need to be not only for my family but for my self... I hope the book u recommended will do me some good... im going to do a project with my daughter for her cooking class... I hope I have my mine straight and can help her with her goal to in life... me is when everyone falls apart I go down to... when everyone is doing good im happy for them even though im not happy I haven’t set my goal in life... I cant even talk to my mother-in-law cuz she would always change the subject on me and its hard not to talk to no one about my feelings... its good too let them out when u have so much built up in side... but ur holding me in there and I thank u ... wearied out off everyone I know ... someone I don’t comes along and helps me with this battle ... not even family can help... cuz they try to ignore people that I guess are not cared for... I thank u from the hart and u bring the life out with ur word... I do listen even though u think im not... remember im a very good leader just not with my life at the moment... I will soon I hope and I pray every night I will find my ways though this no mater the outcome ... ill talk to u soon... have to go to the hospital they recently found something’s I did not want to... but I have to make sure im good for this long journey to life it self... be back latter tonight thanks again for being a friend when one is in need ...

[bluerain]

Hi AW, sorry for the harsh words, but I think that I still mean everyone of them. (((AW))) You will be fine. I think that you need to make that choice, right now, you need to become committed to being OK, no matter what your H chooses to do with his life. You are going to learn to be stronger, and more committed to yourself, and your family than you have ever been before.

Im so glad that you are going to go with your daughter to the class, those kinds of things will be great for you right now! Is that something that you might like to do? Take a cooking class?

I think that it can be really hard for people to hear about the terrible things that thier kin are doing. They dont want to take sides. I would stop talking to them about it. If they ask how you are, I would just be as frank as you can without giving them many details. Does your daughter know about whats happening? Do you go to church? Your pastor/priest might be able to help guide you through this. And dont feel bad about not being a very good leader for yourself right now, if I could take my own advice, things might be very different for me!

Also, have you thought about trying some medicine to help you out? Some anti depressants, or anti-anxiety medicine might really be able to help you. Theres no need to feel like this, and it can help you to sort of take control of your situation. Theres no shame in it, and lots of us (including me) have used them temporarily to help us out when things got really tough.

Good luck at the hospital, I will be thinking about you!

[Gnosis]

ArmyWife,

I don't know if anyone has pointed this out to you before...

I mean this in the kindest possible way and in your own best interest... your posts are EXTREMELY hard on the eyes.

1. Paragraphs are your friend.
2. Get rid of the "texting" slang.

I know you're not a teenager, but the way you are communicating makes you look like one. Sorry, my dear. I realize you're going through a trying time so are most other people here. If there is one thing I have learned it is to: Communicate clearly and effectively.

I think you will receive a better response and better advice if you can implement the above two things.

EDIT: One more thing... if spelling is not your strength, don't worry about it. It IS forgivable and kindly overlooked.

[armywifevampi]

thanks

[Gnosis]

You're welcome and I wish you the best.

[armywifevampi]

Well.. I kind of went to the dark side of my self again. I have not called but I did text last night .
Witch I know is a big no, no but I couldn’t help my self ….I guess for response.

Well did not happen and what I text him was harsh. This is what I text him...

I guess u choose her latter D sad that not even your own daughter u cant call but what u truly have I forgot is your family I forgot your!!!.... family not mine thanks for carrying or giving a s--t... nice to know your true colors came out with your new friends and girlfriend... sad when u let another life take something that never belonged there in the first place...

I did not stop there I was tiring to control my self. Did not happen the next one...

Luck with the kids...and to top it off... even worst .

I said happy anniversary for the 25 cause it looks like I wont be talking to u again I see... enjoy.

God I’m so so stupid for saying things like that but I’m just so so mad for him not wanting to listen to me I gave him all the time in the world . I feel he is not coming back and its just to pain full for me to let go so fast after 21years how can u give it all up so quick....