Is this the end of my marriage?

[avermont]

you want hope or to move on? I just have a feeling that people have a harder time moving on if they still hold onto hope. [/quote]

I am making a tiny bit of progress on detaching--still am looking at all cars driving by to see if it is X or OW, but the quote above is the crux of the problem.

I am trying to move on, but because I am still struggling with the tantrum feeling of "I don't wanna and you can't make me!" (insert voice of 2 year old here) I am looking for the balance of accepting the end of it in my heart and head--and yet I am still looking for DB tips. So I haven't given up hope. If I could, I think it would be much easier.

I went on a date today--a little walk in a park with a perfectly nice guy I met through Match.com. We both were happy to say at the end--let's do this again! And I meant it, cause it was a nice time.

But then I got in my car and sobbed. And will cry again when I start the chores of cleaning the house. Why? Because I don't want to date, I don't want to move on, I don't want this or that...I want what I can't have. I want my old life back.

And that can't happen, so I must just persevere with detachment, right? Is there a good mantra for that? That I can repeat 2000 times a day, or maybe get tattooed on my hand?