Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

P, I thought you meant "we" as in you and your wife.

I did! I suppose it could be "we" as in all of us here too though.

Do you read other infidelity forums?

Which ones? I read other forums on here.

Truth is, she may just give up on contacting you for awhile...

I think she will.

but from what I read it's not permanent. They tend to reach out for some reason.

I've actually read the same things. They seem to get a longing for something whether it's just the comfort of the 'devil you know' or something else. I know that my sitch isn't unique, but I just can't help feeling W will not do this.

However, after she moved out but before OM was here I was getting 1-2 texts per day which wasn't expected so maybe ....

The LBS is better off assuming they won't hear from the WAS again so they can detach and get used to not expecting to hear anything.

Do you want hope or to move on? I just have a feeling that people have a harder time moving on if they still hold onto hope.

I actually want to move on. I would like to think (notice that I didn't say hope) that one day we would get a chance to sit down and talk. But it's not a hope. Just a good ending to the M.

In the last few days, I have been detaching more and more. I have accepted that the M is over. I have accepted that W and I are just not right for each other in her current state. I kind of think I made a mistake.

No sure if that is good or bad. But that's what I'm looking at just now.

I was in the shop today where W works with D and D's mum. This is probably the most relaxed I've felt in the shop in a long time. Never looked for W's car. Never looked for her when we were in there. Actually couldn't care less. That was a big step for me.

Another big step in the last few days - no longer looking at car registrations as they pass me so I can see if it's W or not.

No longer have any urge at all to drive down her street and see if her / his car is there. Just not interested.

No longer care where she is. What she is doing or who she is doing it with.

Sure I get my moments where I have a little bit of wonder or anxiety but they are the exception rather than the rule.

Would I like to think that this all had a happy ending? Sure, wouldn't we all. Am I going to wait on it? No. I'm going forward to get a life.

The trigger for all of this?

I was in the city I came from (about 300 miles from here) on Thursday. Without being too coarse, I was like a kid in a sweet shop - the number of attractive women walking around was unreal. You don't get that here as it's a much smaller place. I visited some of my old haunts, got a Starbucks (White Chocolate Mocha) and actually really enjoyed myself. The 6 hour drive down and the 6 hour drive back (in the same day) was good. Gave me plenty of time to think and reminded me when I did that every second weekend to see D.

That for me was the start of me really detaching. And it feels good.