Pls help--confused and fearful

[P17]

Whatever. I see that I just have to go to the lawyer tomorrow to do what I need to make sure I have financial support.

You do. This is a priority. I'll bet he doesn't think you'll do it. When you do, and he finds out he will get nastier. Put money on it.

It's probably his tactic to get me to file since he hasn't. I don't get it why he won't file but he doesn't want me either.

My guess (and it's only a guess) is that he is being nasty to get you to file for a D because you've had enough. Do a 180 on that - if he wants you to do something, don't do it. Let him do the legwork, after all he is the only one who wants a D, right?

There is too much anger coming your way from somebody who supposedly doesn't care. Don't know what to make of that, but I thought I'd point it out.

I'm going to focus completely on getting a NEW life. I've already started on my way to a new career. I've registered for classes for a 2yr program. I've registered to volunteer at the hospital too. I'm thinking ahead to a life without WAH. Why am I going to bother with a man who doesn't want me, doesn't care about me and is deliberately hurting me? I've made several new girlfriends who are very caring and supportive. I'm going to need a big support group to go through all this. I deserve better than what WAH has given me for the past few years. I felt sorry for him, but now I have to focus solely on my life and our precious kids!!! Enough already.

I will bet after a few months of this GALing, he'll be much more in contact. Just a feeling about him.

Argh. I was feeling so strong this morning.

I'm listening to you P17. I'm writing here and not to WAH. And I'm getting angry! He has pushed my buttons!!

Remember he was TRYING to push your buttons. While you're not playing the game, recognise it as a game. Laugh because you KNOW his game. You know the RULES of his game better than he does. You also know that when you DON'T respond, he loses.

Laugh. You are winning. But the winning is not to score points against him. The winning is to give you strength.

I just found out how to save the text messages to my computer. I now think it was a bluff that he was moving overseas since he is saying the kids can move with him.

Why do you think that?

He probably said the things about the kids to ..... rattle you. You already said that he hardly spent any time with them - who do you think the court would award custody to?

Ignore this.

He is trying every which way to get me to file first. I don't get it.

He may be. I think he's trying every which way to hurt you as much as possible. When we hurt, who are the first ones we lash out at - the ones closest to us, ie. you. He's hurt, guilty and upset (by his own doing but nevertheless) so he is trying to hurt you to feel better.

Don't rise to it. Don't respond. Don't play his game.

If you need to communicate, communicate about the kids and nothing else. Any talk of the R, D or anything else and you end the call / text / email.