Yeah as mentioned, I think you're doing well - well being a relative word of course. Ms have a lot of ups and downs in the best of times, and post-A dynamics can add a crap load of stress to that, even disregarding the direct post-A angst.
Not that I'm an expert, but to me a huge sign of having healed majorly is when you can separate the friction M day to day from what happened.
The suffering is over, the pain of what happened will never fully go away, but that's not a bad thing necessarily. Many pieced Ms carry the scars of trauma yet are stronger than Ms in general precisely because of it. Nobody that goes through what we do is likely to take Ms for granted again. I think W and I have "pieced" about as well as can be expected in many ways. Doesn't stop the bad or angry moments from happening still.
Cheers.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
