I've been following your sitch and the board even though I've been "laying low". It's very, very hard to walk that pencil-thin line of detachment (allowing the S see the consequences of their actions) while not rejecting the S, especially since their childhood tapes have altered their perceptions of our actions. Taking care of yourself and support from this board will help you with this.
Thought you and others might be interested in a website I found for an organization called "Americans for Divorce Reform" (www.divorcereform.org/). There is also a page with quotes on divorce reform (patriot.net/~crouch/quotes.html) that may provide info some people are looking for. A couple interesting quotes from this site:
--"All around us, every day, we see the bitter fruit of the breakdown of the family. ... I believe the breakdown of the family is a direct result of our "no-fault" laws. ... Why should a couple invest in a marriage when it can be dissolved for no reason at all?" (GA state Representative Brian Joyce -- GIMA, do you know this person?)
--"It is easier to divorce my wife of 26 years than to fire someone I hired one week ago. The person I hire has more legal clout .... than my wife of 26 years. That's wrong." Judge Randall Hekman, President of the Mighigan Family Forum, quoted in a Michael McManus column in the Detroit News
--(cynical quote warning) Instead of getting married again, I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. Lewis Grizzard
This site cites a book called "The Case Against Divorce" by Diane Medved. I haven't read the book but the synopses online look interesting. The author set out to write a book to help couples during the divorce transition but changed her focus after reviewing the data:
"I have to start with a confession: This isn't the book I set out to write. I planned to write something consistent with my previous professional experience helping people with decision making. . . . For example, I started this project believing that people who suffer over an extended period in unhappy marriages ought to get out....I thought that striking down taboos about divorce was another part of the ongoing enlightenment of the women's, civil- rights, and human potential movements of the last twenty-five years....To my utter befuddlement, the extensive research I conducted for this book brought me to one inescapable and irrefutable conclusion: I had been wrong."(1)
Sorry the post got a bit long, but hope this info might be helpful to someone out there in the ether.
