You don't want to come off as trying to control him, i.e., she's doing a mighty fine job of it. You could casually mention that it would be nice if he would cut the phone and/or blackberry off when he is visting w/his children. You might say, "h, you have so little time w/the children, wouldn't it be nice to spend it entirely w/them w/o the phone ringing? Your friends will understand that you are spending time w/your children and when you are on your way home, you can return the calls and have some privacy for your conversations w/them."
The more you point out issues w/the ow, the more he will continue doing what he's doing or he may even begin to stay away. He doesn't want to hear it. Also, the ow is very needy and insecure and that's why she continues calling.
It's a fine line to walk, but I think if you put the request to him as it would benefit him more so, he just may do it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
