Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

SHE WILL NOT forget you! I know it feels like it has been forever but it has only been 4 months. It's really pretty early to be thinking it's over between you two.

I have never met a woman who is as warm, loving and caring as my wife. But she has two sides to her. She is involved in amateur dramatics and she has a public face that is kind, caring, warm and you will NEVER EVER see what the real her is. I think I am one of the few people to ever see the real her.

The real her can be just like her public face. The real her at work was always caring, supportive and kind to her friends and colleagues. The number of people who said what a great person she was and what a great couple we were, what a great husband I was and that she was lucky were numerous. Since the split, her colleagues (as I said before) have saw her change.

But the real her can also be the coldest and most heartless woman I have ever met. I have encountered that woman once before now and if her aunt didn't get involved, I would never have been married in the first place.

The reason I am telling you this is that I think she is putting those walls up again, ten times stronger. Her step-D has been taken from her and I have taken myself from her. I think she will close up shop and move on completely now. She may not forget us, but I think she will never allow herself to think about us. She has been through this many times in her teenage years with her mother and father abandoning her, her mother doing it several times. She knows how to handle rejection. She knows how to move on. She is a messed up girl who is broken.

It's really only been almost a month since the last face to face contact. 4 months since the split. 2 months since OM moved in. I know that is a drop in the ocean to what some people are and have gone through. My new goal is to find patience.

Seriously- I guarantee the vets would agree with me!

Vets ... comments?

From what I see about NC is that it does force the WAS to get all of their needs met by OP. Since OP is not the LBS, then the WAS ends up short, meaning the OP doesn't quite fulfill them the same way after the initial honeymoon phase wears off.

Hang in there! You are doing a very very good job! Brilliant, right?

I will hang in there. I have no other option! I can't go back from NC as that won't accomplish anything. The only choice I have is keep NC, build myself up, GAL and hope that we may get a second chance (I keep saying we, rather than I as we both need to accept each other not just her coming back to me).