I need help please

[P17]

I was thinking it was good to let him know that I was planning to go out - how else will he know?

If there is no way he will find out other than telling him (ie. he won't see you dressed up or people won't tell him) then make it subtle. For example, ask him if he can babysit on Stephen's Day. When he asks why, you just need to tell him you've got to go out and leave it at that.

Imagination. Let it do the work for you.

You know what I think when I read these text messages - that he is punishing me because of the mortgage fight - maybe I am paranoid but that's what I am reading.

He can only 'punish. you if you play the game and let him. Don't play the game. Remember this is one of the few ways he can wrench back control of the sitch (however nasty it seems to be he is using it).