Can I save my marriage?

[Super Girl]

So there is certain things I'm told to say or do. And with a typical human being it may work, but with my H it just backfires, cause he doesn't react to things the way most people would.

This is exactly my problem. Everytime I read Gno's advice to you, I think that would never work on my H. I could probably be walking around with another man, and my H wouldn't be affected. He claims he is not the jealous type. I think he'd only react to another man around the kids, and that's only because he wouldn't want me exposing them to some random guy.

He has never expressed any jealousy, so I doubt he is just saying it. However, I have never tested him.

For me, I've realized that I have to get on with my life. I find thinking about all those wonderful men out there I am obviously free to enjoy to be very helpful. Sometimes I want my H back, and sometimes I don't. Right now, I can't find any reasons why he enhances my life.

As far as your H goes, it sort of seems like he came back because the kids were cramping his style. He can come and go as he pleases, because you are there to watch them. Your H strikes me as the jealous type, follow Gno's advice. You might think it won't work for you, but I have a feeling in your case, it will.

[Super Girl]

P.S.S

I'm sure those of you who have followed my sitch from the beginning would notice that my H turns allll his feelings into anger at first. So that's what I mean. He gets angry when he's sad, mad, hurt...etc. So its hard to deal with things with him, cause its anger I'm facing...just fyi.

One thing you should have learned from these fine folks is, his anger is NOT yoru problem.

I was freaked about about contacting the AG for CS, but I realized that I couldn't be scared of my H getting angry. I HAD to do it for my kids. I did it, and then calmly told him to expect to be subpoenaed into court for a wage attachment. Surprisingly, he didn't get outwardly angry. I'm sure he's p!ssed off, but all he said was okay and asked if I knew how much they would be taking.

Let him get angry. YOU were angry when he left you, but I'll bet he didn't give two sh!ts about YOUR anger.

[Lll54]

Good point Sadgirl.

I've learned that I can't control his anger no matter what. Sometimes he gets angry over nothing, sometimes he doesn't get angry when I think he will. Its crazy and I have yet to figure it out.

Gucci ,this whole "act as if" thing is really working. I feel I did a good job yesterday in our first conversation. Good enough that it got the man wondering hence why he called back a second time...for no reason at all. Then my sis and I decided to have a lazy night on the couch, and who walks in at 11? H. Weird. The last two night he felt no reason to come home earlier than 1:30am, but last night his wife was "acting as if" she didn't care and look who struts in early. Ha!

He came downstairs grabbed a blanket, covered me up and went upstairs to watch hockey highlights. About an hour later, comes down says good night to us and goes to bed.

He's been gone to work since 6am this morning.

I told you I may need step by step help. What's my plan of action today? He won't be home until 730 from work. Thanks!

[Steve McQueen]

I told you I may need step by step help. What's my plan of action today? He won't be home until 730 from work. Thanks!

sunday night. get a movie. lock yourself and your kids in your room tonight and watch the movie till they fall asleep. ignore him. The silent treatment is gut wrenching.

monday. are you a stay at home mom?

[Gnosis]

SG, I jumped to your thread and had a quick look. I'm sorry things have evolved that far with your H. I don't know what my advice to you would have been because it varies according to the situation.

This is exactly my problem. Everytime I read Gno's advice to you, I think that would never work on my H.

Did you ever try?

I could probably be walking around with another man, and my H wouldn't be affected. He claims he is not the jealous type.

That's what they all say (incl. me) until they get kicked in the nuts with it. The only time a man doesn't react is when he is DEEPLY involved with an OW.

However, I have never tested him.

See? How can you say it doesn't work if you never tried? Test him on it.

I find thinking about all those wonderful men out there

Sorry to burst your bubble SG. Don't look at the men on this forum as a general sample of the male population. The men here have been kicked upside the head. We were all "damaged goods" at some point. The difference is that we're learning our lessons... the HARD way.

[Energizer Bunny]

I thought my W was the only person who never got jealous. Not that anyone wants someone who is overbearing, but it would have been nice to see a little every now and then huh?

[P17]

I thought my W was the only person who never got jealous. Not that anyone wants someone who is overbearing, but it would have been nice to see a little every now and then huh?

How do you know she's not jealous?

[chatterbug]

I hide it quite well EB. Jealous.

But you know what. I have blood pumping through my veins.

Many masks upon my face.

[Super Girl]

SG, I jumped to your thread and had a quick look. I'm sorry things have evolved that far with your H. I don't know what my advice to you would have been because it varies according to the situation.

This is exactly my problem. Everytime I read Gno's advice to you, I think that would never work on my H.

Did you ever try?

I could probably be walking around with another man, and my H wouldn't be affected. He claims he is not the jealous type.

That's what they all say (incl. me) until they get kicked in the nuts with it. The only time a man doesn't react is when he is DEEPLY involved with an OW.

However, I have never tested him.

See? How can you say it doesn't work if you never tried? Test him on it.

I find thinking about all those wonderful men out there

Sorry to burst your bubble SG. Don't look at the men on this forum as a general sample of the male population. The men here have been kicked upside the head. We were all "damaged goods" at some point. The difference is that we're learning our lessons... the HARD way.

.

No worries on the evolution of my R. At first I thought I had a duty to my kids to try, but they seem to be adjusting, so I'm actually at peace with how things are going. I wish things could be a little less hostile, but that might come with time.

As far as the did I ever try to test him, no, I have never purposefully tried to make him jealous, but I do spend quite a bit of time with men, and my BFF is a man, and he has never had a problem with it. Even when things were great in the R, he has never been bugged by other guys. He thinks jealous people are weak and insecure. If you have a way I can test him, considering I don't see him, let me know. I'm game.

As far as an OW goes, everything has checked out so far. He is where he is supposed to be, no glaring cell usage, etc. If someone wants him with all his baggage and monstrous child support checks, she is welcome to him.

I didn't mean you fine gentlemen, not that you're not all perfectly wonderful, I mean the fabulousness that awaits me. Thinking about it is fantastic. I feel like a teenager again. lol

[Butterfly1]

;Your H and mine could be dopplegangers. My H only expresses anger -that's it. And never jealous. I always took it that he didn't care. He was cold, distant, and then angry. That"s it.

The difference is, your H is showing MAJOR changes due to your 180's of ignoring him. CONTINUE IT. This doesn't work much for my H, occasionally it does slightly. So enjoy it. IT WORKS. DO IT EVERY DAY.