Curiouser and Couriouser. I also have a pair of indecent purple heels. They are sky high and as uncomfortable as all get out but they look sooo good. I haven't actually worn them yet but my plan is to leave the house in them, switch to something comfortable in the car, sitch back at my destination and so on.
Curiouser and Couriouser. I also have a pair of indecent purple heels. They are sky high and as uncomfortable as all get out but they look sooo good. I haven't actually worn them yet but my plan is to leave the house in them, switch to something comfortable in the car, sitch back at my destination and so on.
Great plan Kara! I have done that several times now! Gotta keep them guessing - good girl!
Me-34 XH-33 No Kids We were M-12Y T-15Y 5/09 Same house-separate bedrooms 01/10 I filed for D / H moved out 09/16/10 Divorced
I don't think I'd give him the letter. Right now, surprise is on your side, and I'm guessing your H doesn't have a clean pair of underwear for all the freaking out he's doing. It's better for you legally to have the surprise factor, keeps him off balance.
Plus...why? What does it get you? It feels designed to get a response rather than inform, and I say cross the information bridge when you need to.
You sound amazing, by the way. Getting clear and letting go of others' crazy is empowering! Keep it up~you're a rock star!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
The only advantage to giving him this letter, was to SEND it to him, to spoil the illicit couple's trip. Affairus interruptus.
Now that you're waiting until he's back, I think it's all hand-tipping, and not necessary. Just withdraw the funds you need, and when he asks you about it, say "It's only about a tenth of what you've taken out to spend on your affair, so please don't lecture me on the subject of squandering marital assets," and leave it at that.
What's the upside to informing him of all of us? It also makes it look like you intentionally waited until he got back, which is WAY too much deference and respect than he deserves!
I get such inspiration reading your posts AFG. the part about squandering assets or spending funds for an outside party, well my h is doing that for his parents.
so that will be another tool in my bag to nail my h if needed.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
Jstar, my former BIL did the same. Sent a bunch of money to Mexico and that's what the judge nailed him on.
AFG, I love your letter and am not sure you shouldn't wait either. Let your rat and his skank hang themselves a bit more......on the other hand, wouldn't you rather not give h more time to deplete your assets even more?
I agree with Puppy. Skip the letter. To tell you truth, as I read the letter, it seems a bit too much about him and her (although you'd probably be more comfortable there anyway etc...). By writing stuff like that, you are still giving him power because you are A)letting him know you are bothered by it and B) you feel he would be happier there. Both make you less powerful.
Additionally, you are writing a lot of stuff to him that is educating him as to the law. Why tip your hand like that. Now he knows what he has to fight against. You would be giving away your head start.
Do what you need to do. Do what you feel needs to happen to make things square. Take the $1000, get your paperwork in order. Let him pay $150/hour to learn how to deal with what is coming. Don't you give them info for free.
This is one of those therapy letters. You got it out, you put it on paper. Now burn it and release the bad energy. You are moving on.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
