Separated--Does Not Admit to OW

[saffie]

benotafraid,

I respect your thoughts/ feelings regarding OW's H but I don't fully understand them if I am honest.

I don't think making things open with OW's H would necessarily be playing into OW's hands. Why wait to be kicked out? Your H already has his own 'pad'. If OW really wanted to leave her family there really seems to be nothing stopping her.....so to my mind she doesn't really want to rock the boat with her family. That in turn makes me think your H is just a play thing on the side for her and she is not so sure. What she may say to him doesn't seem to stack up with her actions.

Having said that, your H is still interacting well with you and that is worth a lot. Being there and remaining supportive should work in your favour. Over the coming holday period his ability to be with her will be limited due to her family commitments. Make the best of the time you have with him and just think about how available she is to him at what we all consider to be family times. If she appears to not be that available I think that is a clear indication she is not as committed to ending her M as she verbalises. It's one thing to pretend on a regular basis you have to work late, there by enabling the OW to go over to your H's pad....or to make out she has regular nights out with the girls to buy herself some free time, but if she is pretty tied up with family over traditional holiday periods then that says to me she is not done with her H and her family. If she was, why is she keeping her end of the R a secret?

Keep positive thoughts in your head